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第624章 没有陆靳城的出现,就不会有这么多恩恩怨怨(2 / 2)

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陆太太受邀做客某栏目特邀嘉宾,高谈她和陆先生之间,一波三折、曲折坎坷的爱情之路。

最新一期真心话大拷问。

Q烟:“最近特别流行形容某位男性是某种水果体质,以下,有几种水果备选,请陆太太选择以下几种水果,评价一下你所遇到过的男性”

陆太太扫了一下几种备选水果项目,点头。

Q烟清嗓子,问:“请形容一下你的头号疯狂追求者萧莫宇先生的水果属性,并说明理由!”

陆太太不做多想,直接选了甘蔗!

“虽然他长得丑,但是刚开始吃起来,还是很甜的,哪知道,吃到后面,越来越渣!”

台下萧先生卒。

躺着也中枪,你不咬我,我怎么会越来越渣?

Q烟又问:“请形容一下宇宙无敌护妹狂魔姜律先生的水果属性,并说明理由!”

陆太太稍作思量。

“柠檬吧,单身多年,自己不脱单不算,每次看到我和陆先生亲热,就一直酸、一直酸,不知道的,以为他是醋罐子!”

台下姜先生不满,把姜太太举高高。

“老子媳妇孩子都有了,酸个p?倒是你,天天抱我的孩子到处炫耀,怎么,自己不会下蛋吗?”

Q烟汗然,用手帕擦汗。

“呵呵,真是相亲相爱,不掐难受的亲兄妹!”

再推眼镜,Q烟问:“最后一个问题,请形容一下狂到艹天艹地艹空气的陆靳城先生的水果属性,并说明理由!”

陆太太合计了一下,问。

“可以多选几样水果吗?”

Q烟点头,“可以!”

“那就芒果和榴莲吧!至于原因……说他是芒果,主要是从里到外,都是黄,特别是脱了裤子以后,脑子里都是黄河水,滔滔不绝!”

“……”

“说他又像榴莲,倒不是说他表面带刺,其实内在十分值得拥有,而是……他真的很臭!”

台下陆先生微微一笑。

“陆太太总结的很对,很到位。”

男人看似宠溺的表情,脸上却写着“女人,你成功惹到我了”的危险信息。

晚上回家,陆先生把陆太太扔到床上,二话不说,前戏没有,掐着她的腰骨,一边蛮横侵略她的腹地,一边咬紧腮,问她。

“给你次机会重新说,我到底是怎么样的男人?”

受不住陆先生臻狂的动作,陆太太放声大喊。

“你是巨型香蕉男,是巨型香蕉男,外表又粗又长又大,实际还是又粗又长又大!”

次日,陆太太又到节目组做客,澄清昨天对陆先生不实的指控。

“其实,我们家陆先生,是个轻轻松松就能喂饱我的巨型香蕉男!”

台下,瞬间一片哗然。

哦,陆太太每天都在吃香蕉啊……

————

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