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三百六十九、睡着了,就不痛了(1 / 2)

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接下来的一段路,我几乎是连爬带跪着走完的。

看着就在几秒钟之前,被升降机缓缓送上来的阿贪,我嘴里反反复复无意识的念叨着,连自己都不知道自己在说些什么。直到最后踉跄了一下,身体失去平衡,猛的扑在它被蓬松的鬃毛覆盖的身躯上,我才方如大梦初醒一般,傻傻的怔住了--是冰的……阿贪的身体,是冰的?

呵呵!怎么会这样呢?我失魂落魄的摇了摇头。

“阿贪。阿贪?”短暂的呆滞过后,我终于伸手捧住了阿贪的脑袋。像以往无数次一样,揉了揉它额头上的鬃毛,压低声音,轻轻唤了几声:“主人回来了,咱们不睡了,好不好?”“……”然而,回答我的,只有耳边“呜呜”的风声。仿佛在唱着一首永不知疲倦的挽歌,萦萦无绝。

“阿贪,我是主人啊,你睁开眼睛……看看我,好不好?”我用力的晃了晃阿贪的脑袋,它原本炯炯有神的双目,眼帘微瞌着,透露出一丝了无生气的光。仿佛是在看我,又仿佛不是在看我,一瞬不瞬。面对我的低唤,早已凉透僵直的身躯,再也给不了,哪怕一点点的反应。

“阿贪!”面对阿贪的“无动于衷”,我彻底失去了耐心。用力揪了一把它后背上,如今好似茅草一般毫无光泽的鬃毛,声音由低到高,甚至隐隐还夹杂着一丝怒意:“起来!”

“我命令你。现在,立刻,马上,给我起来!”

当然,得到的回应,依然是没有回应。

“你出息了,啊?连主人的话都不听了是不是!”我想我是真的疯了。

一边悲愤的低吼着,一边居然拎住阿贪的爪子,试想图将它从地上拽起来。结果没有成功,视线却落在了它曾经锋利无比,现在却连皮带肉,根根倒翻的利爪上。

“啊--”这一刻,终于成了压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草。

我搂着阿贪的脖子,眼泪如决堤的洪水一般,倾泻而下:“阿贪,对不起,对不起!”

“是我害了你,从一开始,我就不应该同意让你来狐族!”我无法形容自己此刻的心情,就像我永远都无法感受到,阿贪在临死之前,究竟忍受了怎样的痛苦。我唯一知道,且能确定的是,假如当初阿贪在要求一起来的时候,但凡我态度稍微能够强硬一点。那么阿贪也不可能像现在这样,一动不动的躺在地上,以这种淬不及防的方式离开我了!

想到在西北极寒之地,阿贪最后对我说的话:“主人,和活着相比。我更后悔当初没能为了你,做最后的奋力一搏。”我就心如刀绞--阿贪,你知不知道?比起你的勇敢,我宁愿你永远做一只“懦弱”的噬魂兽,也不要你离开我呀!

“阿贪。你不乖……”我不甘心,我真的不甘心,“你不是答应过我吗,说一定会平安回来?你怎么可以言而无信,你怎么可以……这么残忍呢?!”

其实哪怕现在这样。抱着浑身是血,早已冰冷僵直不动的阿贪,在我心里,我也没有真正将“死亡”这个遥不可及的字眼,和阿贪联系在一起。

我以为,我总以为,经历了前世今生那么多考验,每一次我们都可以逃出生天,这一次也不会例外。而阿贪,它也会一如既往的,一直一直永远陪在我的身边。哪怕情况再糟糕,受伤再严重,强大如它,最后也一定可以渡过难关,化险为夷。因为我清楚的知道。阿贪绝对不放心留我这个惹事精的主人,一个人在世上。

可我以为,往往是我错了。当事实的真相,以如此血淋淋的模样,不争的摆放在我眼前的时候,我才知道,是我太天真。

“阿贪,乖……睡着了,就不痛了。”真正的分离,千篇一律。总是来不及道别,叫人不知所措。

我想象着阿贪失去意识的最后一刻,眼睛望向上方一片湛蓝的天空,缓缓的倒下去。它的心里,一定还有很多话。没来得及和我说吧?不过没关系,我都知道的,阿贪,我都知道,你要对我说的话……

我怔怔的抬起手。无意识的帮阿贪合上了迟迟不肯瞑目的双眼:“如果有下辈子,别再做我的宠物了。”

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