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第6章 姐夫背《周易》(2 / 2)

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“你能倒背如流吗?”

我这一问,李天花明显傻了!

《周易》是古代读书人的必修课,若在考中榜眼前他也许能背的出,可如今做花天酒地,纸醉金迷的史部侍郎都六年了,他能记得那玩意?

我心中暗笑道。

“二姐夫!这可是你做史部侍郎的敲门砖!这要不记得可不敢叫学富五车啊!”

李天花虽然嘴巴已肿的鸡屁股一样,却并不示弱,因为他不相信一个只会烧火做饭的厨房杂役能比他还能耐!

“我背不出,难道你能?”李天花十分不屑道。

“当然!你去找本《周易》来,看我一字一字背给你,连标点符号都不带错的。”我道。

我刚说完,正抻着脑袋看热闹的王天横立马起身,以迅雷不及掩耳之势从牛府的书房里找来一本《周易》,坏笑着递给李天花。

李天花接书时,手有点抖,并很怨毒地睃了王天横一眼!

也许他突然有种不祥的预感,自个一个堂堂吏部侍郎今个要丢人现眼了!

我见李天花翻开了书便粗门大嗓道:“二姐夫,我很喜欢你这三缕美髯,想用它来做两管毛笔画符。这样,《周易》分《经》与《传》两部分,各两千多字。我先背《经》,若一字不差,就先拨了你左边的胡子,一根胡子一个字!”

说到这,我故意顿了顿,看着李天花瞠目结舌,敢怒不敢言的表情狡黠一笑接着道:“然后再背《传》 ,若也一字不差,就拔了你右边的胡子,也是一根胡须一个字,倘若两边胡须不够拔,就拔你下巴上的充数!”

说罢,我也不管李天花答不答应,自顾自抑扬顿挫,声情并茂地背了起来。

李天花不敢怠慢,两只本已肿成一条缝的三角眼瞬时咬牙切齿瞪得鸭蛋一样,聚精会神审视着我背出的每一个字,每一个标点符号!

小主,这个章节后面还有哦,请点击下一页继续阅读,后面更精彩!满堂宾客都被今晚牛府的即兴表演逗的欲罢不能!太好玩了,还从未参加过这么刺激的宴会!牛府果然很牛,从来都不会让人失望!

不过一盏茶的功夫,突听我一声大喝:“二姐夫!《经》已背完,可曾有错!”

“没!没错!”

李天花被我一嗓子吼的浑身一激灵,不由自主脱口而出道。

“那就好!先把你左边的胡子给了我吧!”

话未毕,我已身形电起,一探左臂,将李天花的脑袋箍了个结实。

右手已揪紧李天花左嘴角的漆黑长髯,一紧一顿又一拽!

刹时,一阵杀猪似的惨叫声响彻满堂!

满堂宾客尽皆失色,有人踢翻了桌子,有人坐塌了凳子,有人吓崩出屁,有人尿了裤子!

再看李天花左嘴角的一络长髯已一根不剩,全在我得意洋洋举起的右手上。

一把胡子就这样被连根拔掉,这谁受得了?

李天花扔了《周易》,双手死死按着血丝糊拉的嘴角,痛的又蹦又跳,满地打滚!

这下牛二姐牛书娜不干了!不管怎么说,李天花是她的脸面,被人欺负成这德性,凭谁也受不了!

牛书娜一头扑进父亲牛仁的怀里,撒泼打滚要他爹好好教训我!

王天横见状,也凑了上来,贴紧牛仁的招风耳道:“泰山大人,二姐夫可是朝廷命官,堂堂的三品大员史部侍郎!如今被四妹夫一巴掌抽成猪头不说,还生生扯掉他一边胡子,三分不像人,七分好似鬼!这要被当朝天子怪罪,只怕会祸及满门啊!”

牛仁被王天横的咬耳朵吓出一身冷汗,顿时血灌瞳仁,暴跳如雷,一捋袖子,再一次恶狠狠向我扑来!

老婆牛丽莉见她父亲凶神恶煞般扑向我,忙也掀翻了桌子,娇躯一拧,径直冲到了她父亲身前,将我护在她身后!

不曾想,老丈人牛仁突地身形暴起,直接从我老婆牛丽莉的头顶飞起,恶狠狠向我砸来!

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