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第二十章 凤来(1 / 2)

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“你说我会不会死在这儿啊?”顾南城轻笑着说。“我还有那么多事情想要去做,我那么有理想,可我明明什么都做不成啊。这一千年来我除了查阅一些古籍之外就是在修炼,我很努力很努力到现在也不过是个下君,那些神兽生下来就有上君的实力。我,我努力一辈子都不会赶上他们的伊始。”

“可我不甘心啊,凭什么我们青鸟一族就要被践踏,凭什么啊……”顾南城说到最后,声音已经带了哭腔,他以后再也不用为这些事情烦恼了,因为他要死了啊。

小七把头从被子里探出来,冷冷的看着顾南城:“这就是你求死的理由?你知不知道想要活下去有多难!就你这样的死了也活该,还是把活着的权力留给那些更想活下去的人吧。”

顾南城一下子站了起来:“是啊,我就不该活着,活着就一直在受苦!我活得那么卑微,至少让我的死可以被别人记住吧,今天我在这里为了万千生灵而死,这就是我的价值了。”

小七把头又缩了回去,身子也转了过去:“你还是不识人间疾苦,不过也没什么不好的。你既然已把你的价值跟凡人放在一起,也就没什么了吧。”

顾南城也冷哼一声转身进了屋,待他收拾好躺在床上的时候,思绪仍是乱的,几个声音一直在他的脑海里打架。

一个说死了就死了,下辈子要么做个红尘里的普通人,一辈子为了金钱而忙碌,坐拥万贯家财再娶几个小美人儿,要么就当那最高高在上的神明,站在九重天上俯瞰众生。

一个又说啊,忘记你在母亲墓前的许诺了吗,忘记自己被打的趴在地上,姐姐新给做的衣袍都沾满灰尘,还定定地看着他们的背影咬牙站起来的时候吗?就这么死了你真的甘心吗你真的解脱了吗?

顾南城的眼眶不知道什么时候已经湿了,他在黑暗中不知道对着谁一遍遍的说对不起,他说我还是没法坦然的看着那么多人死去,我不能活的恣意,至少别让我带着负罪感死去。

小七就站在屋外定定地看着顾南城,看着他年轻的好看的面庞,目光好像穿过了很多年,她心里暗暗做了个决定,就让他这样永远任性下去吧,也没什么不好的,反正自己活的总会比他长,护他这一辈子应该没什么问题。

为了活下去,什么情怀,尊严,信仰,她都交出去了,上天也算待她不薄,将如此鲜活的顾南城送到她身边,形成对比也方便缅怀了。

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