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第340章 小鸟:好心的大爷们呐,可怜可怜我,这个小乞丐呀(1 / 2)

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【我一个男的我都怕,但是要真给我钱的话别说蟑螂了是只鬼我都给你抓回来!】

现代位面的牛马们表示认同,抓只蟑螂37,他们一天就能抓上一个月吃喝不愁。

古代位面的众人却是摇头,觉得这位现代网友在说大话,鬼是那么容易抓的吗?

【温馨提示:蟑螂的肚子里有虫卵,不能打死。】

“只有母蟑螂才有卵,而且蟑螂的卵壳要是没孵化出来的话,你一拍软壳就碎掉了,而且一个卵壳最多也才能有十几只小蟑螂,再者它们在卵巢里是非常非常脆弱的,基本上你给它一比兜必死无疑。”

“一定要看是不是母蟑螂,因为母蟑螂哪怕是死了,也会把自己的孩子都生产出来,到时候家里就是成千上百只蟑螂来找你替母复仇了!”

“南方蟑螂不仅体型巨大,还有一些带仔的屁股,后面有一个像胶囊一样的东西,有一次我看见一只在墙上,我直接一个飞天大操拖鞋甩过去,结果,自己飞雷神飞到我脚上了,我一腿给他蹬飞了,但是他那个胶囊一样的东西掉了,我踩了一脚,可以,直接原地产仔一大堆。”

【把纸巾打湿一点,然后朝蟑螂扔过去,一打一个准。】

水浒位面,

擅长暗器的张清随手一抬,一颗小石子当场就打落了树干上趴着的一只无辜夏蝉。

他有这本事是打小练出来的,考验的不止是手力,眼力,甚至还要各个方面的能力,

没想到未来的现代,也有人跟他一样擅长暗器之道,不错不错,也算是后继有人了。

【蟑螂天敌是拖鞋![辣眼睛]】

“胡说,哪里需要用到拖鞋,有手就行了,我们学校有蟑螂 我直接把他头给拔了 腿给他拔了 身体也给他拔了 最后我把它踩扁了 老师又把他给扫走了。”

“遇到蟑螂不需要怕,一把纸巾打湿直接丢到蟑螂身上,把蟑螂封印起来。你要是没封因素,那就多用几张把它封印起来,后面再往他身上喷泡沫就行,他蟑螂怕泡沫。遇到泡沫就嘎了。”

“我一般都是拿拖鞋拍死然后拿火机烧成焦 拍死的地方也要烧一遍。”

“只有我们学校那小树林那烂叶堆里面的小蟑螂才会飞,因为经常被蚂蚁猎杀和蚂蚁撕咬,所以他们很怕蚂蚁,所以他们掌握了飞翔。”

“就这个蟑螂 我在老家时候 我把蟑螂给他们经历了十宗罪的经历。”

“我每次看到蟑螂杀意都很重的,缓步行走,找点好东西,再找个好位置,看看能不能一下打死。”

“其实遇到蟑螂的时候,你把你这辈子最生气的事情想一下,这样就算它飞到你嘴里,你也可以一下咬下去,愤怒可以冲淡一切恐惧,我做梦的时候遇到鬼跑累了,我都能停下来把鬼杀了,因为我太累了,累的我生疼,那我还不如把你鬼杀了呢,还有我不是超雄,我只是有点暴躁。”

“半夜熬夜的时候,刚睡着没多久,感觉脸上有什么东西痒痒的,睁开眼睛一看,一只蟑螂在我脸上,生气的我愣是一拳给他锤死了。”

【哦,蛋白质是牛肉的7倍,鸡肉味嘎嘣脆。】

古代位面:你是吃过还是?还鸡肉味,胡说八道,鸡肉哪里会是那玩意儿的恶心味道。

“我记得小时候我在家里玩着神庙逃亡,不知道从哪儿来飞来一只蟑螂咬了我一口,我一疼的就把手甩开了,我看到一只蟑螂,我更生气了,我直接冲过去一手抓着他往嘴里塞,直接给他嚼的溪水在吐出来哎呀妈呀,吓死我了。”

“区区蟑螂,我还吃过半只,因为当时我他妈正在学校里面吃饭!整个人都裂开了。”

...

“喂,表弟,你们外卖真的能接到37块打蟑螂的单子吗?有这好事你怎么藏着掖着不跟你小白表哥说呀?”

顾小白将刚刚刷到的视频转发给了那个还没毕业就偷偷跑去接单送外卖的小表弟,

早知道还要这样来块钱的门路,他哪里还抓耳挠腮,大把大把掉头发的想剧情码字呢。

小表弟有些无语了,真这么挣钱哪里会出现在网上,早就出现在刑法里面了。

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