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第78章 单方面宣布,佛祖今年是聋的传人(1 / 2)

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天幕的这把火,终于还是烧到了灵山佛祖的身上去。

西游位面,

此时要说最高兴的人,莫过于之前被天幕恶搞过好几次的玉皇大帝。

玉皇大帝抚须,龙颜大悦,

早该如此了,怎能每次都是朕上天幕遭三界取笑,

他西天佛祖不是普度众生嘛,

也该让他经历一次来自天幕的百万暴击,

可千万要给力,别让朕失望呐。

很快,各大天幕开始出现画面,

【临近春节,西天佛祖做了一个违背祖宗的决定,

他决定来给凡间给佛教的善男信女们一一还愿,

佛祖:我们出来混的,讲的就是义气,说吧,你下辈子想当什么?

年轻身材苗条的信女虔诚回复:下辈子,我想当个富婆。

佛祖拈花指比了个OK:想当大肚婆,好,满足你。

只见他背后的光圈骤然一亮,

来自佛祖的法力蜂拥而出,

下一秒,年轻信女的苗条身材瞬间消失不见,

肚子上‘dun’的一下变得圆滚滚的,

随之而来的,是孕期孕吐和腰酸背痛,脚抽筋。】

各大位面顿时陷入一片诡异的寂静,

只有天幕里年轻信女的孕吐声连绵不绝。

天幕下的老百姓们回过神来,惊呼:“佛祖搞出人命啦!!”

一个青春靓丽的年轻后世女孩子,平白无故的就怀了几个月大的孩子,

这事儿不管搁在哪个朝代都是天下奇闻,

更别说搞大女孩肚子的,还是西天佛祖。

“传说里,感天而孕的无一不是圣人,这后世女子怕是要生下一位圣人来啊!”

“不是这也太奇怪了吧,这位后世女子明明想要当个什么富婆,佛祖直接让她成了大肚婆。”

“差之毫厘谬以千里,佛祖的耳朵是不是生病了,有耳背啊?”

“话说八道,简直是一派胡言,西天如来佛祖法力高强,怎么可能会有耳背!”

“你没听过天人五衰吗?”

“总之,佛祖这么做一定有他缘由,对肯定是这样,是这后世女子太过贪得无厌,所以佛祖才会小小惩戒了她,让她切莫沉沦贪欲之中。”

“哦是这样?所以就可以搞大人家姑娘的肚子?这不是毁人清白嘛,依我看佛教也不过如此。”

“你你你你,你居然谤佛,你是要下十八层地狱的。”

“对不起哈,地府里边就地藏王一个人是佛教的,其他都是我们道家的!吓唬谁啊你!”

凌霄宝殿上,

玉皇大帝也被西天佛祖的神操作给惊掉下巴,

随之而来的是心中一喜,不假思索拍手叫好。

终于,天幕没有让朕失望,

这一波,朕赢麻辣!

众仙家也被天幕里的富婆变大肚婆,给惊得手里的塔呀拂尘啊火尖枪雷公凿什么的,噼里啪啦哐当掉了一地,

站在雷震子旁边的铁拐李瞪大眼珠子,‘哎哟’一声一屁股坐到地上去,

方才雷震子的雷公凿掉到地上,正巧砸到铁拐李完好无缺的那只脚,

疼的他龇牙咧嘴的,不停的揉着被砸伤的那只大脚趾。

【佛祖:还有谁有梦想?

年轻有为,西装革履的善男:我有梦想,我要去大公司当股东!

佛祖:想去大工地当苦工,好!有梦想,满足你!

背后的光圈一亮,佛祖的法力一上,

年轻有为的善男当场从办公室消失,

西装革履变成了黄色工地帽,手上的笔记本电脑变成了工地的推车。】

各位面众人:太荒诞了啊!

尤其是看到前后的反差对比,

一边是坐在光鲜亮丽的办公室里,戴着金丝眼镜双手啪嗒啪嗒敲击电脑,歇息时还有咖啡酸奶水果吃,

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