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第340章 痛定思痛(2 / 2)

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陈启看向自己空空落落的手,再看向面前目光始终不敢和他对视的二壮,虽有万千爱语,却有万千痛楚,竟是一句话都说不出来。

二壮好不容易从陈启怀中脱身,立时就想着离陈启远一些:“启哥哥,我……我突然也肚子疼起来,我现在也要去一趟茅房。要不,您今天委屈一下,先自己清洗?”

陈启看着二壮虽然做出惶然、焦急的模样,但却知道他说的并不是真话。可陈启却也不准备揭穿二壮,只是眼含深意的冲他微微点了点头。

二壮得到陈启的允许之后立时恍如大赦一般,几乎是三步并作两步地从陈启的面前消失了。二壮走后,原本就空荡荡的屋子显得更加空荡起来。

陈启在一室的沉寂里慢慢红了眼睛,攥紧了自己的手。陈启原本以为自己对和二壮的这段情感只要他足够坚持,就一定能等来它开花结果的一天。谁知道如今他的等待不仅没开花结果,反而有连根拔起的趋势。

二壮和陈启也算是自小一起长大,虽然二壮对陈启的情感一直以来成谜,但陈启却一直清楚自己对二壮的情感——今生今世,他所爱恋的人都只会是二壮,无论如何他都不可能放弃二壮。

只是目前的二壮和肖亮亲近,喔,还有远在赵地虎视眈眈的赵煜——二壮对任何人都可能亲近,却或许唯独对他有些莫名其妙的远离。

这样的境况由不得陈启怀疑,他自身是不是存在着什么问题。

或许他利用二壮当时的懵懂和自己的少爷身份,每每假借理由和二壮亲近的行为本身就是错的?

又或许二壮对和他的亲近,不害羞、不拒绝,也没滋生爱意的源头本就是他没告诉二壮,自己对他的所作所为是基于爱的状况下才发生的?

……

陈启在自己惨淡的爱情里,不得不反思自己的境况。他终于意识到他和二壮之间不止隔着身份、地位的差别,还远隔着别的更重要的东西。

最基本的是,陈启要告诉二壮他喜欢二壮的事实,给予二壮选择的权利——虽然这项权利基本上是个摆设,但即便是个摆设,也有必须存在的理由。

再者是,陈启必须放慢步调,用自己的行动让二壮接纳陈启爱他的这个事实——不再急切,也不要有隐形的压迫,而只是心灵和心灵的靠近……

那个时候,二壮就能够真正看到他的爱,并对他报以相同的爱了吧?

陈启浸在温热的水里,一遍遍的思谋,终于决定要重头来过,给予二壮充分的自由,用自己的行动悄悄感化二壮的心。

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