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第14章 忧郁的小白(三)(2 / 2)

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“胡经理,你带大家做一下计划的具体分工,我去去就回。”

说着,陆子明走出办公室,掏出手机,拨通了一个电话:“喂,杰森……”

……

临近下班,庞小白拖着疲惫的身躯,回到了迫事部。

刚一进门,就看到部门的同事围坐在一个陌生面孔周围,叽叽喳喳地讨论着什么。

胡强看到来人,假装有些意外:“小白,你怎么这么早叫回来了?”

转头又看向中间的那个陌生人:“于大夫,要不今天的诊治就先到这里吧?”

庞小白敏锐的抓住关键词:“大夫?诊治?你们背着我在干些什么?”

金若愚这时突然站起身:“胡经理,反正小白已经看到咧!要不额们把这件事告诉他吧!不然额憋着浑身难受!”

胡强假装沉思片刻,缓缓点头:“小白,不瞒你说,其实我们都有心理疾病……”

“我们遵循医嘱,每周都要在部门里,请于大夫上门给大家做心理疏导……”

与此同时,陌生人也站了起来,看着小白微微一笑,递出一张纸:“您好,我叫杰森,是一名心理医生,这是我的名片。”

庞小白接过名片,呆呆地读着上面的字:“妇女之宝……”

“是宾至如归!”杰森满头黑线地纠正对方,接着对众人说道,“大家作为同事和朋友,也都别藏着掖着了,将自己的病大方说出来,也有利于后续治疗。”

听闻此言,胡强首先举起手:“焦虑症。”

欧阳莫菲:“社交恐惧症。”

苏克杰:“强迫症。”

金若愚:“不八卦就变祖安人综合症。”

沙乐乐:“人格分裂症。”

陆子明满脸憋屈:“受虐症……”(内心怒吼:老胡这给我安排的都是什么乱七八糟的角色!)

“我早就知道你们都有病了!”庞小白突然大喝一声,接着手指唐海星,“你小子肯定是妄想症!”

唐海星面容扭曲,但摸着兜里陆子明刚刚给他的董事长签名照,还是一脸不甘地应了一声。

“很好!”杰森满意地点点头,“坦诚的交流是恢复健康的第一步。下面,谁来首先分享一下近况?”

胡强再次举手,故作扭捏道:“大家好,我是胡强……”

……

接力棒兜兜转转,传递到陆子明的手上。

陆子明深吸一口气,站起身:“大家好,我叫陆子明,其实我内心住着一个小虐虐……”

“每次被骂的时候,我都会感觉很爽……”

“骂你你还觉得开心,你变态吧?”庞小白一脸震惊。

陆子明咬牙切齿地做出陶醉表情:“爽~~”

一阵诡异的沉默。

沙乐乐突然亢奋地鼓起掌来:“就很棒!!”

最后,众人将目光汇聚到压轴的金若愚身上。

“大家好,额就是一天不听八卦会抓狂,一天不听八卦会窒息滴金若愚。”金若愚款款起身,面带微笑。

“于大夫说,额对八卦滴狂热追求是一种成就需求。”

“这两天,胡经理让额堵上仓库里滴管道口,但是额让胡经理失望咧!管道里面传出来滴八卦,让额再次无法自拔。”

“既然于大夫让额们坦诚相待,那额也就和大家说一哈,额换上八卦症滴前因后果。”

“其实,额早年也不爱说话,更不喜欢啥八卦,因为额不会说普通话……”

“别人一讲方言,是佟掌柜;额一讲方言,大家三观尽碎。”

“凭啥嘛!”

“后来额觉得,不爱说话也没啥,只要好好工作,大好滴前途等着额!”

说到这里,金若愚无奈的笑了笑,脸上突然变得异常悲伤:“但是额错咧!”

“额曾经滴上司骚扰额,额一直忍着不说。没想到,大家在背后说额是狐狸精。”

“额上司的老婆来公司,往额身上扔虾皮。她说,额比虾皮还腥……”

“你没去投诉他?”苏克杰有些奇怪。

“额上司先投诉了额!”

唐海星拍案而起:“那家伙居然恶人先告状?!”

杰森将他按回座位,示意其认真倾听。

金若愚随即开口:“毕竟额把一整排订书机钉子都钉在咧那个女人手上。”

众人倒吸一口冷气。

“造谣一张嘴,辟谣跑断腿。既然辟谣没用,那额就以牙还牙呗!”

“从那以后,额四处打听别人滴八卦,然后告诉更多滴人。只要别人滴八卦满天飞,就没人在意我滴八卦咧!”

“可又有啥用嘛,额滴名声都毁咧!不管去哪儿都被嫌弃。”

“不然,额也不会来到这……”

最终,金若愚俯下身抱头痛哭起来。

众人瞠目结舌,一时间面面相觑,不知如何开口。

……

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