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然而,还未等她喘口气,最后一场大比来临,那也是王爷这些年费劲心力要教导于她的——策论。

安齐的头昏昏沉沉,被正午的毒日烤得越发迷糊,一低头趴在了矮榻上。

“啪——”

一声清脆的响声,在她身边响起。她头也未抬就伸手摸了过来。

冰凉的触感让她一个激灵清醒了过来。

她把那物什拿在手中,坐起了身,是那块金色令牌,前面写着“冯谖”二字,后面写着她的“籍贯生辰”,她一遍遍抚着那块沉甸甸的令牌,名字是假,籍贯是假,生辰也是假,可是,这牌的足金却是真,送她金牌的人心意也是真,而只有她自己却在纠结,这真真假假,好生没趣。

安齐想起在龙文寺的那些时日,有次夜里,她与空禅大师月下对弈,亦曾问过他,何为真?何为假?大师指着天上月与水中月与她说道:“所见为真,所思为假,见未必真,思未必假。譬如这天上月与水中月,你所见天上月必为月,水中月乃是倒影,则必为假;可是若水能言,则必会说,天上月未必是月,也许只是从我这水中月幻化出的幻相呢?”

那时候她并未理解空禅大师所言,只觉得,这老和尚故弄玄虚,着实有些反感,却不料,在这大比焦灼之时,她却突然醍醐灌顶,猛然开悟,那困扰她许久的问题突然得到了答案。

一个连身世都隐瞒许久的人对她的心意,究竟是有几分是真的,几分是假的?

所见是真,所见也未必是真。

而自己一意孤行想要来参加秋闱,也并不是为了求这么一个真伪,她想要寻找,寻找自己存在于这世间的意义,寻找自己如何打破这灾星之命的途径,命途之上,几颗星子闪耀又黯淡,那都是真的,也都是假的,一切不过由心而生,亦当由心而灭。

思及此,她如同打开了任督二脉,脑中的浆糊似乎被一扫而空。于是蘸饱了墨汁,开始提笔挥毫,在这纸上江山。

外面,艳阳依然盛放。

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