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“当然了,沈尚书也不知道我娘是怎么想的,因为您也不在乎。”沈溯平静地看了沈书问一眼,“今日便是最后一面,您保重,日后再也不见。”

沈溯转身,看向小姝:“无论你怎么说,我们也不可能回到什么都没发生的时候。早些去过你的日子吧。”

小姝吸了吸鼻子:“我知道,我没想过您能原谅我。但我就是觉得,您这些年受得委屈,老爷得知道,他不能把不孝的名号扣在您头上。”

“我不在乎这些……”

“老爷就是知道您什么都不在乎,才会觉得您怎么样都无所谓!”小姝带着哭腔喊了一声,转身看向沈书问,“老爷,自打大夫人去了之后,小姐一直活得很痛苦,可她从来没发过脾气,甚至没在您面前落过一滴泪。她一直想做毒药了结自己,若是她真的不孝,怎么会痛苦到宁愿自己死都不跟您闹一次脾气呢?可是您从来没发现过,您总是觉得小姐的优秀都是理所应当的,但她也只是您的孩子而已啊!”

“小姝!”沈溯厉声打断了她,“我不在乎,他也不在乎。无需再说这些。”

“你、你一直想、了结自己……?”沈书问声音颤抖,似乎一下子老了几十岁,面容变得枯槁无光。

“和沈尚书没关系。”沈溯并未回身,只是轻轻答了一句。迟来的后悔和同情有什么用呢?

沈书问愣了半天,才沉沉叹了口气:“我不知道……我还以为……你娘当年也是什么都不说,无论我说什么做什么,都只是笑着看我,我还以为……罢了,罢了,我会让管事给你备点银子的,今后,你、你自己过得开心就好……”

沈溯也轻叹了一口气,倘若这些,能早哪怕一日发生,她可能也还会继续撑下去,继续麻痹自己,给痛苦找出点意义来。可她现在已经挣脱了那个牢笼,不会再回去了,那个笼子如何,都和她无关了。

她最后看了沈书问一眼:“往事不可追,珍惜眼前人。钱,留给你们自己用吧。”

说罢,沈溯看向前方,等在那里的有柳时衣,有关切的殷裕,调侃殷裕的魄风,还有那个看不出心情的萧时。柳时衣冲她挥了挥手,沈溯再也没关注过身后的任何动静,她冲柳时衣也挥了挥手,从来没有笑得如此开心。

她将那不堪回首的过去抛在身后,迎着立春的第一缕暖风,朝着她的未来跑了过去。

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