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第3章 墙后的小老鼠(3)(2 / 2)

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他的内心是异常矛盾的,他想被发现,却又害怕着被发现。

尤恩回忆起昨夜他翻出了很久以前丢在角落里积了灰的画册,那画册插图精美,很难让人从外表看出它是一本不正经的册子。

那里面多得是希腊的神明同世间的男子相互慰籍舒缓的画面,尺度极大,让人浮想联翩。

曾经的尤恩只是看上一眼就羞得把它丢在了角落里。

一直到他遇见顾辞后,这本书重新得到了他的关注,他看了很久,也羞了很久。

因为他总是容易把他和顾辞代入到里面,身体也会因此变得燥热难耐。

他无比渴望顾辞精壮炙热的手臂像那画册中所画的那样毫无保留的紧贴着自己的腰肢。

用他那好看的薄唇热切的亲吻自己。

让他滚烫的体温把自己融化,把自己大力的揉进他的骨血之中。

然后……彻底的占有自己。

光是想想这些都让尤恩感到异常激动,可当他想起脸上被火舌无情灼伤过留下的伤疤。

尤恩的心就像是被浇了一盆冷水一样,颤抖紧缩得厉害。

他还记得之前那个女人看向自己时惊恐的眼神,充斥着害怕、厌恶。

就像是看一个凭空出现要夺她性命的恶魔一样。

他也害怕,但他害怕的是女人眼中他那一张显露的分明的脸,这会让他无地自容,也会让他回忆起一些痛苦的记忆。

尤恩咬着唇,几乎要将唇咬破了似的,惶恐的想着,想着自己能被他的神明喜爱的条件……

毕竟插画中能被神明偏爱的男子,长相也都无疑是完美无暇的。

可是他没有,什么都没有,甚至连曾经有的他都已经失去了。

他逃避的用被子罩住自己,躲起来,缩起来,仿佛这样就能逃避一切已经降临到他身上的苦难。

单纯的尤恩不懂变通,不懂真正的爱情。

固执的相信着美好的爱情一定像童话里的一样,长得美好,心底善良才能收获圆满。

泪水浸湿了枕头,冰冰凉凉的,尤恩胡乱擦去了脸上的眼泪,眼睛微肿,显尤为可怜。

尤恩想他或许是童话故事里一个恶毒的角色,只想将无意中来到自己身边的神明,霸占,永远留在自己的身边。

神明尚还栖息在他的牢笼里,他无论如何都要得到的神明,哪怕是用最卑劣的方式。

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