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第288章 凤清儿死亡(2 / 2)

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为什么呢?

是因为的从出生时起就被寄予压过凰族的厚望,从小便被族人视为第二个姐姐的存在吗?

为什么呢?

是因为每当自己拿着自己拼命努力的成果去找自己的父母的时候,没有得到应有的夸奖,只有那句“当初你的姐姐可是比你强多了......”和那一声声叹息的缘故吗?

为什么呢?

是因为自己从小都没见过那位姐姐,只在自己父母和族人口中认识的缘故吗?

为什么呢?

是因为自己哪怕成为了只弱自己姐姐的妖孽却从未听过一人对她夸奖的缘故吗?

是因为她从小都被族人和父母用恨铁不成钢的眼神看的缘故吗?

是因为她自卑、怯懦、自我怀疑和渴望认可、关爱的内心只能深埋于底,用冷漠和高傲的气质来掩饰的缘故吗?

是啊,她可是凤族二小姐,从出生时起,她就享受了他人无法想象的地位和资源,她代表着凤族的脸面,她怎么能,怎么敢去对外人显露自己封闭的内心呢?

可是,可是......

最后在意识即将消散的那一刻。

凤清儿想到了在圣村的一晚。

那天晚上,清冷的月光透过窗户照进三人居住的略显拥挤的屋内。

温暖的烛光照耀着两位衣着朴素的女子。

当她笨拙的学着姜瑜婉织衣服的动作,将自己手指不小扎伤流出鲜血时,那道温柔、担忧的目光死死的刻在了她的心上。

当时她只感觉自己的心灵仿佛被某种东西触动了,脸颊突然变得湿润、冰冷无比。

如今想来自己当时应该是流泪了吧。

一定是的吧!

毕竟之后瑜婉姐姐和幼溪妹妹手忙脚乱的为她包扎的模样,她到现在还记得呢。

想来当时的自己一定很丑、很难看吧。

可是当时明明外面吹拂着冷风,幼溪妹妹哪怕在火炉旁都冻得直发抖了,自己脸颊还流着泪,为什么没有没有感到冷呢?为什么心里会感觉很温暖呢?

为什么呢?

......

万千疑问从凤清儿脑海中一一划过,最终定格在那两道温柔的注视着她的身影上,徒留一声叹息。

“对不起了,瑜婉姐姐,幼溪妹妹,清儿要走了,希望我们永远都不会再次相见了。”

而凤清儿最终留下的这句话,直直的冲入了姜瑜婉的脑海中,不断的回荡,再回荡。

这是姜瑜婉六十多年来,第二次体验失去的感觉。

她原以为她再也不会真正体会到这种心情了,她原以为如今的自己有足够的实力保护好自己身边的人了,她原以为她不会再次体会到这种无能无力的心情了,她原以为自己不会在让幻境中的事情重演了。

她原以为......

可是,这些一切都是她以为......

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