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第247章 部落里的狗粮(1 / 2)

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趁着阳光明朗,哈刚决定和自己的媳妇好好在黑鹿部落全体成员跟前撒撒狗粮,让这只单身狗明白什么才叫真正的寂寞空虚冷。

平日里在战斗力方面,哈刚跟黑鹿部落全体成员一比简直就差得太远了,唯一能在他面前有优越感的就是:他自己有媳妇黑鹿部落全体成员没有。

哈刚正在想着有什么比较新鲜而且别人也不曾用过的撒狗粮方法。

自己一个人在一颗大树下面想了半天就是想不起来有什么好方法。

于是他就问自己媳妇:“你知道有什么比较好的撒狗粮方法不?”

“知道啊!很多的!这你都不知道?唉,连这个都不知道还不如自己去哪里买点棉花在上面撞死算了!”哈刚媳妇很是幽默的对哈刚说。

“咿!其实这就算是撒狗粮了!只是撒得不让人觉得那么明显,那么显而易见!”哈刚说。

“其实吧我觉得要对黑鹿部落成员过去不是单身现在却成了单身的汪撒狗粮我们应该穿着低调的相同元素,换句话说就是:一模一样的短袖或者卫衣其实都有点儿刻意,穿出门虽然一眼就可以看出是情侣,却有种化妆之后的刻意修饰感,远没有裸妆与素颜那么自然。

而相同的元素就容易令人生出碰巧这样穿的错觉,潜意识会觉得两人之间非常有默契。

比如常见的格子、条纹或者是牛仔元素,由于相同元素衣服的风格都比较相近,因此没有必要刻意去搭配,变成穿出想要的相配感。元素的搭配也比较随意,不管是任何一处着装元素的相撞,都可以让你们之间甜蜜感满满。这是我们在上学那会经常惯用的撒狗粮方式方法。”哈刚媳妇说。

“嗯!”哈刚听到自己的媳妇这么一说,想说什么欲言又止。他挠了挠头再道:“我们这身行头就是天生的相同元素!你看看我们这一身相同的白毛是多么的低调!至于化妆什么的,就你脸上那白毛你觉得有化妆的必要?再说了那些睫毛刷,口红,眼线笔什么的你也用不着啊,如果非要用的话还得给你准备一把剃头刀,把脸上的毛剃光才行!那样的话有点会很麻烦!还不如这样好!现在我觉得我们应该牵着手,接个吻什么的在黑鹿部落全体成员跟前……”哈刚看着很是猥琐道。

“你是不是以前男朋友很多?怎么知道这么多撒狗粮的方法?以后是不是该叫你老司机了?”哈刚对自己的媳妇半开玩笑道。

哈刚媳妇一听哈刚这么说自己更是气不打一处来,故意说道:“我上学那会从小学六年级开始就谈恋爱,就六年级那一年我谈了十八个男朋友!平均一学期九个,也就差不多大概两周一个!初中三年的话差不多下来也就五六十个,高中三年下来也就差不多几百个吧!大学的话不多,也就几百个吧!总共加起来的话也就一千多个!嗯,就是这么一个情况!”哈刚媳妇翻了翻白眼道。

哈刚被气得直咬牙。

还没等媳妇再开口,自己便先开口:“哼!就你这么几个男票也在我面前得瑟?!我上小学一年级就有七十几个女朋友,小学六年级毕业就有两百多个!初中毕业就已经上千了,高中毕业就上万了,后面的请自行脑补!”

哈刚说着还是一副很享受的样子。

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