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第285章 莲花落(1 / 2)

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艺考已经开始,没有等老师喊下一位,当那个叫苏逸尘的帅哥走到身前时,萧长风立刻主动走向了舞台中央。

面带笑容,手打罗圈鞠躬致谢:

“各位老师各位同学大家好,我叫萧长风,接下来为大家表演一段传统民间小调莲花落,希望大家能喜欢。”

腰板挺直两手插兜,再拿出来时手中已经多了一对快板,两手一番板板相击,清脆的敲击声中快板“嗒嗒”作响,民间小调的乐曲随之而来,简单打了两个花活,只听萧长风随即开口唱道:

“打竹板扑棱棱,新婚之夜都想听;男的让女的拉灭灯,外面人乱哄哄外面一定有人听;不是他家大伯哥,就是他家二表兄。

小媳妇摸开关,两口子都往一头钻;俩人说了几句话,一句不合闹翻天;新媳妇开言骂,连把穷种骂一番。”

唱曲不停,快板虽然“啪啪”作响,却再也没有特别的动作,只有最简单的打击,简单却很有韵律。

“想当初,我在俺娘家为闺女,不缺吃来不缺穿;冬天有我的大皮袄。热天有我的新衣衫。

自从我跟你个孬孙结婚后,又缺吃又缺穿;三天两头没饭吃,不是少油就缺盐;

混的咱俩一条裤子,谁先起来谁先穿;明天不给我买裤子,龟孙不骂你二百天。”

“嗒嗒”的唱词还在继续,台下的一个老师情不自禁的用脚跟着萧长风的快板打起了拍子,虽然萧长风唱的是跟丰老头学来的直隶方言,可现在看来这些老师却好像并没有听不懂的意思。

“新媳妇不知好歹往下骂,骂的男人脸一寒;狗贱人,不提起你娘家不气我,提起您娘家气死俺;

咱去年八月生一子,我报喜报喜来到你门前;来到你家用眼观,你娘家,三间屋子塌两间,还有一间露着天;

你娘慌的找板凳,你爹慌的去找烟;东间找西间翻,我的乖乖,找出来半盒子发霉烟;

我吸了两口就想走,你娘拉着不让还;你嫂子慌的去借米,你娘你娘慌的去做饭;抓了两把芙拉子,打的稀汤照人脸;我喝了两口仔细看,里面都是老鼠屎,我喝了两口都吐完。”

……

民间艺术,特别是这种小曲小段,许多走的都是好笑轻快的路子,这一段也不例外,丰老头说他是跟一个叫杨晓琼的人学的,他学了九成九,萧长风差点也学了一个八成八,所以原本就好的段子在他嘴里依旧十分幽默。

特别是前面这段唱完后,后面的更加让人觉得搞笑,妻子前面觉得老公家穷开了骂,可后面老公被骂恼了后才说出了真话。

老婆家原来更穷,三间屋子塌了两间,还有一间露着天,妻子家穷他也不嫌弃,可后面最搞笑的紧随而来。

中秋送礼老丈人一家去了新郎家,男的去了九百六,女的去了六百三,结果天下大雨半个月,这一大帮人把他家吃的是盆光碗净,吃的多男人也不恼,可走的时候老丈人一家更是连偷带拿。

“你爹临走偷了个牛,你哥哥临走偷走了除粪锹;你兄弟偷走俺的看家狗,你妹妹抱走个小鸡刚孵蛋;

你嫂子锅前转到锅后头,裤裆装走了两把盐;您的娘不要脸,临走把我的裤头穿;

要不是你娘家吃俺带偷,俺咋能落一个穷光蛋;从今后再说您的娘家有,我把你打扁再捏圆。”

听到后面,台下的五位老师中有三位都忍不住“噗嗤”一声都笑了出来,剩下两位也是面带笑容。

萧长风的表演也已经到此为止,再次鞠躬后萧长风解释了一句道:

“民间艺术有些地方可能略显粗俗,望老师们见谅。”

老师们点点头没有说什么,刚才带队的监考老师问道:

“萧长风同学,你带伴奏了吗?”

“没有,我想借用一下架子鼓和电子琴可不可以?”

“可以,你跟我来拿一下。”

乐器摆好,萧长风鞠躬后坐在凳子上说道:

“接下来为大家演奏的是我自己写的一首二人转小调,一曲《埋怨十二月》希望大家喜欢。”

这首曲子萧长风熟的不能再熟,再加上萧长风同时玩转两种乐器的能力,无疑为他加分很多。

“萧长风同学,你刚才说这首小调是你自己写的?”

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