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第389章 说不出口(2 / 2)

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张万牛默然无语,一种创伤和悲凉席卷全身,是我不回家么?我是有家难回呀不想回呀;家里五个人,他们四个天然成一派,自己看起来是家中支柱,可明显的被孤立,阿紫是丁父丁母的女儿,亲近自不必说,儿子因为一直是丁母带,也和丁母更亲近;阿紫虽是妻子,可自从钱华钱敏到上海后,两个人之间的隔阂就没有真正消除,表面上虽然和睦的样子,可伤口从没愈合,内心也没有真正过这个坎。貌合神离的背后是各种算计各种纠结。而要彻底解决这个纠结,这个乱麻,最好的办法是用快刀,离了了事。

阿紫看张万牛半天不说话忍不住问道:“想什么呢?”

张万牛真想说我们离婚吧,可话到口边总说不出口于是支吾道:“人生一世,草木一秋,真的有灵魂么?或许做个行尸走肉挺好。”

阿紫叹气道:“你呀,总说别人放不下,自己又何时放下过?自己放不下,又怎么能责怪别人放不下呢,如果真正放下了,别人怎么说都伤不到你;而既然放不下,又不敢坦然面对,又何必那么敏感?自己给自己找不痛快?”

张万牛抱住阿紫道:“你是个好女人,是个聪明的女人,也是个好老婆,我的心思其实你早就看透了,可你总能忍总能装着看不见,难道你不觉得委屈,不觉得累么?”

阿紫道:“你也知道我很委屈呀,也知道我累呀,为了维持一个完整的家,我饱受煎熬,可我思前想后,还是觉得再有问题的家也比没有家好;再大的委屈,再怎么苦怎么累也比不上经济困难。佛说,人生来就是受苦的,小时候家里穷,父母天天为吃的发愁,为了养大我们两个,父母使出了浑身解手;可为了让人瞧得起,还是节衣缩食供我们上大学,可大学也是个小社会,各种明争暗斗,各种比拼,各种攀比;使我看透了人世的复杂,人生的悲催和无奈。因此只要稍微机会我就拼命抓住,有一根稻草就如一跟黄金一样珍惜。”

阿紫顿了顿接着说道:“为了减轻父母的负担,我大学努力读书,每学期都拿奖学金,还勤工检学,上学基本没花父母什么钱;工作后勤勤恳恳,可为了供弟弟读大学,也是省吃简用,租合租房,吃最便宜的快餐;现在总算有了一点成绩,至少不为钱发愁,我不想好好的生活就此被打断,就此一去不返。”说完眼睛红润热泪盈框。

张万牛不忍,于是抱紧阿紫亲吻着阿紫的脸,“老婆,都怪我,让你受委屈了,我不生气了,我有什么资格生气呢?我自己犯了这么多错,你们依然不嫌弃我不抛弃我,我又怎么能有负于你,我会好好待你的,更不会不管不顾我们这个家的,以后我尽量多在家,陪你陪儿子。”

阿紫道:“这样就好,只要你永远记住有个女人有个儿子在等你回家就好。”张万牛不待阿紫说完就热烈的吻了过去,阿紫迎合着,两人顿时滚成一团。

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