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第31章 大爷们的面试(1 / 2)

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一推开那扇神秘兮兮的第三道门扉,嘿,您猜怎么着?里头竟坐着三位年逾半百、穿着统一青衫小帽的“复古风”大叔,活像是从古代穿越来的小厮团,生怕别人不知道他们组团参加“我是最炫小厮”大赛呢!

这仨位,正摇头晃脑地搞着什么神秘仪式,一见叶青轩这风流倜傥的身影踏入,立马集体按下了暂停键,眼睛齐刷刷地像探照灯一样扫射过来,那亮度,简直能照亮整个房间!

叶青轩心里犯嘀咕了:“这啥情况?难不成我今儿个出门忘了照镜子,脸上写着‘快来围观我’的标语了?”

他上上下下自我检查一番,除了跟李奕峰他们那帮小子刚干完架,衣裳略显狼狈外,颜值依旧在线,吸睛程度满分啊!不过话说回来,这几位大叔的眼神,怎么看都像是在看珍稀动物展览,让他心里直犯嘀咕:

“我这魅力,啥时候跨界到老头圈了?”

时间一分一秒过去,空气仿佛凝固,叶青轩心里那个急啊,就像是等外卖却忘了点单,饿得直挠心。

终于,他按捺不住内心的小宇宙,决定主动出击,用眼神与这三位“凝视大师”展开了一场无声的较量。四人之间,眼神交锋,火花四溅,简直就是现实版的“眼神版星球大战”!

就在这时,叶青轩索性心一横,找了条小板凳,大马金刀地往他们面前一坐,那眼神,比他们加起来还要犀利三分,仿佛在说:

“你们倒是继续看啊,看谁先眨眼!”

过了许久,久到叶青轩都开始怀疑人生的时候,第一个大叔终于开口了,语气中带着几分不易察觉的赞赏:

“嘿,这小子,够胆儿,无耻得让人眼前一亮!”

第二个大叔紧随其后,点头如捣蒜:“对,这小子,无耻得别具一格,堪称一绝!”

第三个大叔则是笑眯眯地望着他,语重心长地说:“你这一脸‘无耻’的模样,简直就是年轻时的我啊,小厮界后继有人了!”

叶青轩一听,差点没从凳子上摔下来,心里那个五味杂陈啊:

“我这是被夸了?还是被骂了呢?这几个老顽童,脸皮厚度简直能绕地球三圈!”

第一个大叔仿佛看穿了他的心思,一脸严肃又不失幽默地说:

“小子,记住,无耻,是小厮进阶的必备技能。你有潜力,我看好你,未来的小厮之王,非你莫属!”

叶青轩嘴角抽搐,心中暗道:

“这群家伙,绝对是来搞笑的吧!”不过,转念一想,能被这么一群“无耻”前辈如此看重,似乎也是件挺有趣的事儿。

于是,他故作深沉地回了一句:

“多谢前辈抬爱,晚辈定当不负众望,将无耻之道发扬光大!”

一时间,屋内笑声连连,连空气都似乎变得欢快起来。

原来,无耻,也可以是一门艺术,一种传承啊!,

“恭喜你啊,叶青轩,你简直是闯关小能手,已经成功解锁了我们苏家大宅的VIP入场券,从此刻起,你就是咱们家族里一颗即将闪耀 老夜同志.

叶青轩一脸愕然地喊停:

"等等,等等,各位大爷,谁能给咱来个现场直播回放?我这脑子还转不过来弯儿呢!”

这时,那位笑得最贼的第三个老头,清了清嗓子,乐呵呵地说:

"好嘞,咱们来场脱口秀版通关秘籍。

第一关嘛,简单说就是‘文化人儿才有资格端茶送水’,咱苏家可不养文盲哦;

第二关,那是‘脑筋急转弯大赛’,得机灵得像猴子,不然怎么逗乐主子们呢?

至于这第三关,嘿嘿,那可是咱们仨‘苏家三杰’亲自坐镇的选美加才艺大赏!先看颜值,毕竟苏家走出去的小厮,那也是要面子的,不过放心,只要不是能吓跑麻雀的那种就行;

再看心性,老实巴交的适合守财,但你这样的,嘿嘿,明显是我们梦寐以求的‘多功能’人才,上得了厅堂,下得了厨房,还能时不时那啥......

叶青轩嘴角抽搐,心想:“这老狐狸,拐着弯儿说我既不安分又不可靠呢!”

老头见状,连忙摆手解释:

“别误会,小伙子,咱们这不是贬低,是夸奖!这年头,像你这种厚脸皮加无限创意的结合体,简直是稀缺资源!我们一见你就两眼放光,仿佛看到了苏家未来的段子手、智囊团!相信我,只要稍加打磨,你绝对是小厮界的‘金牌喜剧人’,前途比那朝阳还灿烂!”

说罢,老头还配合着夸张的肢体语言,笑得差点儿背过气去,那表情分明在说:

“瞧瞧,我发现了一匹未驯的马儿!”

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