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第140章 火锅局(2 / 2)

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小岳岳闻言立刻捂住胸口:"撒老师您别说了!我闺女才四岁,我现在想到她以后谈恋爱就心绞痛!"他转头对沙易哭诉,"沙哥你是不知道,现在幼儿园就有小男生给我闺女送棒棒糖了!"

小撒继续说道:“还有,孩子结婚你不伤心啊,如果是两个闺女结婚得多伤心啊”

小岳岳说道:“别说了,现在想想都伤心”。

白夜说道:“先别伤心,结婚是20年以后的事情,你先考虑一下现在吧,岳哥,辅导功课才是当务之急!"他模仿小孩天真的语气,"'爸爸,这道题怎么解啊?'——您总不能说'去问你于千爷爷'吧?"

小岳岳说道:“小白你别看不起我,我小学还是没问题的,初中可能有点难度,那个时候就不用我了”。

老何说道:"要我说,养儿子最怕青春期!沙易你想想,到时候俩小子同时叛逆,一个要纹身,一个要退学..."。

"停!"沙易捂住耳朵,"何老师您这比恐怖片还吓人!"。

软经天插话道:"我青春期可比你们说的野多了——"他指了指自己现在的模样,"谁能想到我当年为了打游戏,整整三天没回家,爸妈急得在报纸上登了寻人启事!"

白夜觉的不可思议,故意用播音腔说道,"‘电竞少年离家出走,父母含泪悬赏’嗯,那个时候应该还没有电竞吧,应该是电玩"。

"这反差也太大了!"沙易拍着桌子狂笑,"小天你现在这人设崩得稀碎啊!"

软经天不慌不忙地捞起一块肉:"谁还没个中二时期?"他突然压低声音,"其实那三天我就在隔壁不远的街道打电玩——"

"什么?!"小岳岳瞪圆眼睛,"你爸妈找你找疯了,结果你就在隔壁不远?"

"最危险的地方最安全嘛!"软经天得意地眨眨眼,"后来还是因为没钱买泡面,自己溜回家偷冰箱里的卤肉饭,被我妈当场抓获。"

沙易问道:“那你爸是怎么教育的你的啊,打你了嘛”。

软经天笑着摇头:“没打我,他把我送去学游泳了,后来我就加入了学校的游泳队,各种训练,比赛,没时间也没精力出去玩了”。

老何说道:“孩子有一个爱好运动,发泄精力,就不会乱来了,青春期精力旺盛,需要发泄出来,不然就容易出事,”

沙易点了点头:“我觉得有道理,我也要从小培养他们,让他们找一个自己热爱的体育运动”。

小岳岳突然插话:"沙哥,要不让你家娃学相声吧!"他模仿小孩背贯口的模样,"‘吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮’——保证累得回家倒头就睡!"。

白夜正给沙易倒啤酒,闻言补刀:"然后沙易家就成了‘相声世家’,孩子上台就会说我的空姐爸爸!"。

全场爆笑中,沙易他咬牙切齿地指着众人:"你们就笑吧!等我家俩小子长大了——"突然压低声音,"专门在节目里爆料你们黑历史!"

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