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第52章 胜利者的独白(1 / 2)

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言沅犹豫再三,最终还是没有给商默鹄打电话问她去哪里了。

不是不在意,而是太在意了,他对她的在意已经深入骨髓。

从小他就在意她,但是商默鹄不喜欢他,甚至说出,“边牧都比言沅有意思,我不要跟言沅玩”。

那段日子里,言沅心中充满了嫉妒和愤恨。他忍不住想要掐死那条狗,可每当这种念头涌起,他又会立刻感到一阵恐慌。因为他明白,如果那条狗真的死了,商默鹄就再也不会来找他了。

他只能远远地观望。他如同一个孤独的守望者,静静地伫立在远处,宛如一尊被时光的风浪无情侵蚀的雕塑。尽管内心波涛汹涌,但他的外表依旧显得平静如水。

言沅曾无数次地思考过,自己对商默鹄的感情究竟是不是爱情?或许,这仅仅只是一种习惯吧,一种长久以来养成的、难以割舍的习惯。

无论怎样自我安慰,言沅始终无法改变这个习惯。他的目光仍旧不由自主地追随着商默鹄的身影。哪怕明知这份感情可能永远得不到回应,他也甘愿如此,默默地守护着心底的风浪。

直到商默鹄谈恋爱了,对方是姜从致,商默鹄变得不一样了,她开始把大量的时间都花在姜从致身上。

他注视着商默鹄,而商默鹄注视着姜从致。

最后他和姜从致成了朋友,商默鹄又开始和他打交道。

值得庆幸的是,他生来便寡言少语,早已习惯了如冰山般冷漠。大多数时候,他只需静静地坐在某个不为人知的角落里,默默观察着商默鹄脸上瞬息万变的表情——时而蹙眉沉思、时而展颜欢笑、时而怒发冲冠、时而捧腹大笑、时而郁郁寡欢、时而暗自窃喜......

偶尔他的内心深处也会露出一角阴影,商默鹄不要过得太开心了。如果这片深邃幽暗的深渊只剩下形单影只的他,那种无边无际的孤寂恐怕会将他彻底吞噬。

但每当看到商默鹄流露出伤心难过的神情时,一股无法遏制的恐惧便会瞬间涌上心头,令他的心脏不由自主地紧紧揪起。

是的,他深爱着她。这份深沉而浓烈的爱意使得他根本不忍心见到她受到哪怕一丝一毫的伤害。他渴望能够触碰她的肌肤,感受那份温暖;他期盼可以紧紧拥抱着她,给予她无尽的安慰;他甚至幻想能亲吻她,诉说自己心中压抑已久的情愫。

话说回来,姜从致曾经犯下过两个严重的错误。可偏偏正是因为这两次失误,反倒让他得到了商默鹄。或许真应了“天意弄人”四个字。

第一个错误,姜从致把他当成了兄弟,把他推向了商默鹄。

第二个错误,当姜从致得知自己身患重病的那一刻起,他没有告诉商默鹄,反而是用谎言、躲避来拒绝商默鹄。

如果是他生病了,他肯定会第一时间到商默鹄面前去卖惨,用最凄惨的言辞来描述自己所遭受的痛苦和折磨。他会想尽办法让商默鹄心生怜悯之情,对他产生深深的同情,最好能让商默鹄永远记住他。

对于他来说,死亡并不可怕的事情,真正令他恐惧的,是被商默鹄遗忘。只要商默鹄能够永远怀念着他,就算是死亡,他也毫不畏惧。

即便最终死亡抹去了姜从致曾经犯下的那些错误,倘若有朝一日商默鹄突然回忆起这些往事,想必她一定会对此耿耿于怀。因为她向来厌恶那种打着“为她好”的旗号而行事的做法。

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