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第1章 奇葩死法(1 / 2)

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一九八二年,三月,某一天。

苏北,一个离县城偏远的小村庄里。住在村尾的许大山昨夜蹲茅坑拉屎竟掉进茅坑里淹死了。

天刚亮,许大山的大闺女大丫就把早饭给做好了。

掀开她爹那屋的挡门布帘,破旧的老式木床上只躺着小弟和她半傻子的娘,却没有她爹许大山。

许大丫就纳闷了,难道他爹天不亮就起床出门了?

爷爷奶奶相继去世,还没出百天。自家没有留春地,也就没有春季的小苗庄稼侍弄。难道爹又去爷奶坟上去了?

于是,大丫就跑到田野里自家麦田地里找。

穿过麦田,爷奶的坟孤零零的矗立在自家麦地里,没看到人!

三月的早上,露水挺大,许大丫小小的身板,裤子与破烂露脚趾头的布鞋全被露水打湿了。

春季里,田野里除了麦田,就是早春种植的瓜地、花生、红薯、烟草地。没有挡眼的庄稼,一望多远。

大丫又赶紧跑回家,有些尿急,就去自家房后不远处的茅房去小解,结果就发现她爹正头朝下脚朝上,栽在茅坑里,茅房及他爹身上折腾地到处都是屎!

许大丫看着他爹那倒栽葱一样头插进茅坑里,只怕是凶多吉少了,应该是没命在了。

许大丫哇的一声,把尿急的小便也给憋了回去。就赶紧跑进村子里喊人,希望他们出面把她爹从茅坑里给拉出来。

远的近的,和许大山没出五服的本家,大约有七八家人,许大丫都挨着喊了一遍。

一村老老少少听说许大山掉进茅坑里淹死了,都纷纷丢下手中的活计跑来村尾来看看热闹。

许大山的叔伯堂兄弟七八个胡啦啦都拥在那茅房外。不看不知道,一看吓一跳。那倒竖在茅坑里的就是整整一个屎人!

人人都来一句:“妈呀,这可咋整?也下不去手呀?”

臭自不必说了,关键是太脏了!

这死法也没谁了,千百年来许家湾就出许大山一个,真是奇葩死法!

大家都知道,许大山有羊角风,犯起病来口吐白沫脚蹬手挠地就晕厥了,他老娘手持一根纳鞋底的大针往鼻子下头的人中上一扎,许大山伸手挠挠眼皮,立马起身就好了。

村民都见过,平日他要是和人吵架拌嘴气不过,就会发病,村民们也会学着他老娘的样子,狠掐他的人中,就把他给掐醒了。

时间一久,别人都避让他,知道他那病不受刺激,一般不会犯的。

此时围观的村民们都纷纷猜测,许大山应该是在拉屎的时候犯病了。犯病的原因,肯定是因为他爹娘突然间的双双离世,大受打击,看着家里的五个嗷嗷待哺的孩子,一个半憨不精的婆娘,压力太大,才导致犯病了。

人群越聚越多,有手拿镰刀肩背粪箕子的,有肩扛锄头的,这会子都在那儿交头接耳的议论着,也不着急去下田了。

生产队长也来了,他阴沉着脸,扫视一圈七嘴八舌的村民。

这土地才刚分产到户没两年,这帮子老少妇儒村民就不把他放在眼里了,看到他来,竟然没有一个人和他打招呼!

其实,许大丫第一个就去喊的是生产队长,只是队长不在家下地去了。只是和队长老婆说一声,说她爹出事了,但没讲掉茅坑里,就慌忙跑了。

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