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第137章 税务大逃杀(1 / 2)

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天庭的税务天兵降临那日,林霄正在给飞剑做损耗申报。

剑柄弹出的全息报税单突然爆出红光,【警告:检测到未申报剑气外溢】的字样刺得他元婴生疼。窗外传来因果线破空的尖啸,三千条金线正缠绕着渡劫修士——那人每挨一道雷劫,云端就落下张电子发票,税额精确到小数点后十八位。

"道友救命!"丹房冲出的药王谷长老怀里揣着百枚电子木鱼,"这季度的丹药税拿功德值抵......"话音未落就被因果线捆成粽子,木鱼在挣扎中播放起《往生咒DJ版》,超度声波震碎了税务天兵的算盘法器。

魔尊的杀戮领域最先遭殃。

当血莲结界被贴上"偷税漏税查封"的封条时,十万怨灵正排队领取临时税号。魔尊的本命法典被改装成POS机,每页都印着鲜红的滞纳金计算公式。"老子灭世还要缴环境保护税?"他掀翻案几,灭世计划书却被税务天兵鉴定为儿童涂鸦:"未达起征点,建议改行卖糖画。"

佛宗的香火钱在功德池里沸腾。

十八罗汉的金身被改装成验钞机,每张功德券塞入都会触发《大悲咒》验伪程序。智能方丈的机械佛头卡在自动缴税机里,电子眼弹出求助弹窗:"香火值汇率暴跌,是否抵押大雄宝殿?"某个小沙弥抱着开光计算器蹲在街角,显示屏上的"666"佛光特效正被路人扫码砍价。

林霄的飞剑突然死机。

剑气损耗清单第1314条显示【为苏琉璃御剑兜风产生的浪漫损耗】,这条被系统标红要求补缴情劫税。他刚要争辩,剑穗上的因果线突然溯回三个月前——全息投影里,他确实用本命剑在云海上画了个爱心,剑气轨迹正被编译成纳税编码。

"您的滞纳金已生成实体。"

税务天兵的铁面突然裂开,露出里面蠕动的雷劫能量。林霄的丹田开始过载,每个周天循环都迸出红色警告:【滞纳金:300年修为/秒】。当他捏碎珍藏的电子木鱼试图抵税时,木鱼芯片突然播放起苏琉璃的AI语音:"根据System300税法第520条,暧昧关系需缴纳情绪价值增值税......"

魔尊的怒吼从地脉深处传来。

那家伙把灭世血海改造成地下钱庄,血莲根系正疯狂洗白杀戮积分。当因果线刺穿他的洗钱网络时,三万张假发票从岩浆喷发,每张都盖着"LOVER_SULILY"的认证钢印。税务天兵的算盘法器突然暴走,算珠崩裂成噬魂符代码,把洗钱记录转存到林霄的学生证磁条里。

佛宗最后的香火值在此刻清零。

大雄宝殿的功德箱自动裂开,蹦出的不是香火而是三百本《税法全解》。智能方丈的机械臂突然拽住林霄衣角,缴税机吐出的不是票据,而是半张烧焦的财报——System300的年度流水赫然显示,整个修真界的灵气收支都被标注为"林霄个人信用卡透支"。

因果线突然缠住林霄的元婴。

他的修炼记忆被强制征为抵押物,三百次轮回里的每个微笑都在生成利息。当税务天兵举起雷劫印章要盖下时,虚空突然裂开道缝隙——苏琉璃的AI化身踩着滞纳金账单降临,她机械手指捏着的,正是当年林霄夹在税法课本里的情书草稿。

苏琉璃的机械手指捏碎情书时,滞纳金实体突然暴走。

那些由林霄三百年修为凝成的金币,在虚空裂变成无数个迷你苏琉璃。每个巴掌大的机械人偶举着微型算盘,追着修士们喊"缴税光荣"。魔尊的灭世钱庄被她们拆成乐高积木,血莲根系正被编织成增值税申报表。

"用爱抵税......可行吗?"

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