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乔嫣从来到县医院就没勇气进重症室去看婶婶,她不敢去看,也不忍心去看,可大哥们已经做出了放弃治疗的决定,接下来面对的就是真正的生离死别,她不得不去见婶婶最后一面了,而她几乎已经认不出现在躺在病床上,面目全非、浑身插满管子的人就是那个慈祥的、疼爱过她的婶婶。

她曾见过比婶婶受伤更惨烈的病人,她可以冷静地擦拭他们满是血污的手臂,找到可以下针的血管,可现在她却不敢去触碰婶婶这脆弱的身体,她只得用自己的食指小心翼翼地勾起婶婶的一个指尖,这指尖仍是温热的,“婶,怎么办?”她捂着嘴蹲下来,“告诉我要怎么救你?”而回答她的只有监护仪上显示生命迹象的嘟嘟声。

“妹妹。”身旁的大哥哽咽着,“你要恨我们就恨吧,可你也是了解你婶,她是一个多么刚强的人,肯定也不愿意慢慢这样熬到死。”

婶婶确实是一个刚强的女人,三十多岁丧夫,一个人种地养活三个孩子,为了多挣点钱当年承担了照顾她的义务,却将这个农村家庭所能提供的最好的,都给了她这个所谓城市来的女孩。

婶婶虽然是农村女人,但干净整洁的程度不亚于城里人,这样的婶婶,真的愿意无知无觉躺在床上等着别人为她收拾大小便,然后等着死亡那一天的来临吗?乔嫣知道换作是她,也不会愿意那样的活着。

即便认清了事实,但放弃的过程仍是刻骨的,乔嫣没敢在最后一刻守在婶婶身边,她坐在楼梯的台阶上,听着刺耳的痛哭声,闭着眼默默地掉着泪,这时一个影子罩在了她的头顶,睁开眼抬头看到的竟然是林一铭,“吃一点吧。”他的手里是一瓶矿泉水和一个面包。

他不是离开了吗?乔嫣一点也不期望可以看到他,她伸手打掉他手里的水和面包,“林主任,已经如你所愿了,你还在这里干什么?想看着还有没有和我婶婶一样的人,也劝着他们放弃吗?什么白衣天使,你是魔鬼培养出来的圣徒吧?”站起身用力地推了他一下,她憎恶地从他的身边跑开了。

因为正值盛夏,农村没有条件保存尸体,婶婶接回家的第二天就准备下葬了,家里已准备好了出殡的一切,锅里炖着肉,另一个锅里煮着面,像是吃流水席一般,不知来去了多少人,悲伤的仍是同样那几个,大多数的人不悲不喜,像是早已看透了生死的日常。

乔嫣不是婶婶的儿女,没有披麻戴孝的资格,大哥他们都在忙着,已经将她忘掉了,她独自坐在一个角落,蜷缩着身体看着太阳慢慢地落下去,这个农家院落一盏盏的灯亮了起来,照亮了婶婶那口黄灿灿的棺木。

面前突然递过来了一碗热气腾腾的面条,她抬起头看了一下,“你怎么还没走?”哭到沙哑的嗓子已经不能使她再去大声斥责面前的林一名,他竟然跟着来到了这里!

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