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“哦。”林一铭终于放下了心,走回卧室拿出枕头下的照片仔细摸了一下,又重新放回了枕下,这才换了衣服走出来。

“小铭,你有好好吃饭吗?”林倩问。

“嗯。”林一铭点点头。

“你有在好好吃饭吗?”林倩拉开了冰箱,“上次送来的小菜全都起霉了,厨房的米和面都起虫了,你在家吃过一次饭吗?”她拉住弟弟的手,“小铭,就当我求求你,好好开始生活好不好?忘了文姗姗好吗?已经三年了,你就忘了她吧!”

“姐……姗姗她。”林一铭的眼睛一下子红了,“我怎么……能?”

“怎么不能?那件事只是意外,你为什么要自责,为了她你也不是连命都不要了吗?”

“姐,别说了,死者……为大。”林一铭脸色惨白,一字一句艰难地说着。

“什么死者为大,活着的人才是最重要的,你活成这样,你觉得我能活得好吗,咱妈能活得好吗!”林倩心痛地看着脸色苍白的弟弟,“小铭,你才三十三岁,有技术有能力,忘掉文姗姗,也一定还会有女孩爱上你的。”

“不。”林一铭用力地摇着头。

“小铭……”林倩擦去泪水,狠了一下心说,“如果你再敢那样做,我和妈也一定会跟着你去的。”常常从噩梦中惊醒的她,也只能用最狠的话去威胁弟弟。

“姐,”林一铭咬着唇声音颤抖着,“我不……会的。”

“以后把姗姗的照片收好,别让妈来了看到难过。”林倩用手擦去林一铭眼角的泪水,“看你的样子也像是没吃饭,妈做了你爱吃的糖醋排骨让我带过来,我都热了一遍了,快坐下吃吧。”

林一铭看了看餐桌上丰盛的菜肴,这足够三四个人吃的,他接过姐姐盛过来的米饭坐了下来,“姐,你……也吃。”

“我吃过了。”林倩在一旁看着弟弟瘦削的脸颊,现在还能强求什么呢,只要他活着,才可以将他们这个家支撑下去,母亲也才可以活下去。

林一铭猛然想起了一件事,他拿起桌上的包,取出厚厚的一沓人民币给姐姐递过去,“我……发工资了。”父亲去世早,靠母亲一人工作养活他们姐弟,小时候家里经济条件一直比较差,姐姐将上学的机会让给了他,而她自己只读到高中,现在在超市当收银员,收入少得可怜,姐夫在外地打工,能给家里的补贴也不是很多。

“别给我钱,你姐夫刚邮回来生活费,我们的钱够用。”林倩压住弟弟递钱过来的手。

“给妈……体检。”

“妈在给我带孩子,体检我会带她去做的,你头部还有瘀血,医生说还要二次手术,把这钱留着,你不是还要给姗姗爸妈寄钱吗?”林倩终于忍不住了,一滴滴的泪珠从她眼中滑下来,“小铭,你还年轻,如果遇到好姑娘……”

“姐……”林一铭抬手拭去姐姐的泪水,“不……用。”除了拖着这如行尸走肉般的躯体活着外,金钱、未来,重新爱上一个人,所有这些他都不需要,他将钱硬塞进姐姐的包里,“照顾妈……应该是……我的责任。”将照顾母亲的责任交付给姐姐,他本来已万分愧疚,现在能做的也只是金钱补偿了,他搂住姐姐的双肩轻声说,“对不……起。”

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