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第793章 长乐老之死2(1 / 2)

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6,被宰相耽误了的段子手

6.1一辈子不靠谱

冯道在中书时,有位举子前来拜谒,用句道儿上的话说,就是来拜码头,一般来说就是拿着自己精心创造的文章辞赋,求赏识,求包养。

冯道仔细看了这位年轻举子的文笔,确实有可圈可点之处,再一看他的名字,李导。于是,冯道故意板起脸来,吓唬他说:“我名道,你难道不知避讳?”

也许是冯道装得太像,也许是李导年轻气盛、书生意气,竟然急了,争辩道:“我的导是‘寸’字底的导,相爷您是没有‘寸’的道,同音不同字,有何不可?”

冯道笑道:“跟你逗着玩儿呢。我不光名字里没有方寸,我这辈子呀一直就没有方寸(老夫不惟名无寸,诸事亦无寸)。”

6.2不敢说,可不敢说

某次冯道听门客读《道德经》,闹出了笑话,因为“道”字要避讳,而《道德经》开篇第一句就是“道可道,非常道”。

门客手捧书本,正要宣讲,抬头正望见旁听的冯道,吓得一身冷汗,慌忙改口曰:“不敢说,可不敢说,非常不敢说。”

捧哏:那还说什么呀。

6.3两脚一千八

后晋初年,冯道与和凝同为宰相。冯道老成持重,和凝性格急躁,二人一缓一急,成为朝廷一景,也因此闹了不少笑话。

某日,二人闲聊。和凝新买了一双鞋,而冯道也穿着一双新鞋,布料款式几乎一模一样,宰相同款。于是和凝就问冯道,“您这鞋是花多少钱买的?”

冯道知他性急,就故意逗他。

只见冯道抬起左脚,缓缓说道:“九百钱。”

“啊?!”和凝当场就蹿儿了,回头怒骂自己的仆从,“为什么你花了一千八?做花账、吃回扣不要紧,但你们的胆子也太大了吧?胃口更大,敢翻倍黑我的钱……”

史籍记载,“诟责久之”。

骂了大半天,仆从们低着头不敢说话。这时候,只见冯道缓缓放下左脚,又缓缓抬起右脚,说道:“这只也是九百钱。”

在场的高官们哄堂大笑。

求:和凝仆人们的心理阴影面积。

7,劝谏汉祖

刘知远称帝之初,曾有一件轰动全国的“牛皮大案”,涉案二十多人。

原来,刘知远在河东聚草屯粮时,曾颁布了一条战时法令,禁止民间私下交易、使用牛皮,如果民间的牛死了,要上报官府,牛皮上缴,违者一律死刑。因为牛皮在冷兵器时期是重要的战略物资,可以用来制作铠甲和战鼓等物。

铁、铜、皮,是衡量一个政权稳定与否的标尺。一般来说,管制得宽松,就说明这一时期政通人和、天下太平,反之,则说明兵荒马乱、狼烟四起。

刘知远从河东节度使变成了天子,禁牛皮的法令也就从地方法推广为全国通行之法。很快,潞州的二十多人就触犯了该法,地方法院经过一审,依法依律判处死刑,上报中央核准。

而当时,潞州推官(节度使之下,次于判官,执掌狱讼,大约可以理解为今天的检察院副院长)张璨附上了自己的一封奏章,大意是该法令是陛下在河东谋大业(把造反说得多么清新脱俗)时,不得不采取的战时法令,而现在陛下已经是天子了,天下归一,也就不用再使用如此严格的法令了,因为这对老百姓的生产带来了极大的不便,弊大于利。

之前在讲后汉时,已经详述过“汉法严酷”,以及文官集团与武将集团的争权夺利。张璨的封奏惹怒了当权者,他们认为这是对新兴的后汉朝廷的不认可、轻蔑,于是将此事上纲上线,添油加醋地解释给刘知远。

刘知远果然大怒,小小推官,也胆敢****,这还了得?当即下令:法令照常执行,二十多人照常杀,另外,张璨也判死刑!

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