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第一百三十三章 佛堂深谈(1 / 2)

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静。但屋内的呼吸,紊乱了。

很久,很久,久地暮颜已经感觉不到冷,屋里才又响起:“那你……是谁?”仿佛溺水的终于抓住了救命的稻草。

暮颜自然知道,这个时代的女人虽不至于和自己所学的古代那般闭塞无权,大门不出二门不迈。但高门侯府,女人终究是仰仗着夫君存活,更何况,是伉俪情深的暮离夫妇。因此,哪怕皈依佛门但一句话就已乱了心,哪怕老死不相往来,国公府却并未将女儿接回。

只是,昔日双珠的骄傲,即使爱的深切,却也怨地浓烈。半分含糊不得。

暮颜几不可闻地叹了口气,道,“夫人真的愿意让我站在这里,说出真相?”

静默。

许久,里面才又传出了声音,“进来吧……”三个字,仿佛用尽了所有力气。

门扉应声而开。

“吱呀——”

雨天暗沉的光芒透过推开的门扉照进来,佛堂里,一尊案几上供奉着佛堂香火,案几之前,蒲团之上,跪拜着清瘦女子,一头墨发竟隐隐飘了银丝。

暮颜站在她身后,双手合一,闭目低头。

“你信佛?”女子仿佛对身后举动了如指掌,却又低低笑了声,“你这样的,竟也信佛?”

你这样的?怎么样的?暮颜苦笑,“不,我不信佛。”

“神佛、鬼怪,皆是虚妄,看不到,摸不着,于是我不信。……我只相信我用心感受到的。镇南将军英雄人物,此生挚爱不过夫人一人,夫人也该相信将军的。”

倏然回头!

“相信?我也想相信!可是我都已经逼到这个地步,他只说你是他亲生的女儿!那么即使是假的,他又是为了谁,连这样的脏水都往自己身上泼?!”嘶声力竭的女子,早已失去了苦苦支撑的“千金小姐的素养”。吴氏内心哀嚎,什么素养,不过是站在旁观者的角度站在道德制高点事不关己的风凉话!

不是她想把自己关在这几步见方的牢笼里,而是若不是用这佛堂香火,如何压抑自己从不曾消散的痛!自己夫君亲口承认,自己不愿相信又如何?自己的夫君是什么人物如何不知,年少相识,青梅竹马。自己做的事情半分不会否认,未做过的事却耿直到半点不愿屈就。

她吼完,握着佛珠的手紧紧地按住了心脏,平复着呼吸,许久,才自嘲一笑,“所以……不管你是谁,你的那位母亲,值得他这般站出来,我们之间就再无回头的可能了。”

被自己的夫君放在了天平的两端,自己确实被舍弃的较轻的那个。

何其残忍的真相!

案几上烛火摇曳,暮颜看着方才吼完了就像泄气了的皮球一样瘫坐下来的女子,看着她清瘦到颧骨头凸出的面容,想必这数月备受煎熬吧。

煎熬到,连佛祖都解救不了。

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