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第356章 不靠谱的县令(1 / 2)

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356 不靠谱的县令

再差的规矩,也比没规矩强。

再烂的县衙,特么的也没见过这么烂的呀!

“你们确定,这地方是县衙?”

与其说是县衙,还不如叫乱葬岗,可能更恰当一点吧?

“好叫皇爷知晓,本县的县衙,还是前朝的时候修缮的。后来,辽人占了这地方,再后来是金人,一直也就没有个正经县令。”

韩仁杰期期艾艾地说道,还不忘抬头看看赵大锤的反应。

究竟是辽人实在是不懂得怎么治国,连个县令都不知道往下派,还是本地势力勾结,“好心”地替辽人管理地方,本就是一本糊涂账。

赵大锤也懒得去管这些破事儿。

至于金国的代表石达,替金人收税的小事儿,更是不值一提。

但没有规矩不成方圆,不立起个牌坊,人家都不知道你当过,咳咳,有这么一级官员。

本县的县令,还在吏部的遴选中,一时半会儿地可能还来不到,赵大锤就想过一把当官的瘾。

戏里可都演过,梁山好汉李逵那个夯货,都知道冒充县官断案,咱怎么说也比黑旋风白一些吧?

“皇爷,军中多少大事需要您定夺,这些小事就不用理他们了吧?”种师道实在是看不下去了,忍不住出言提醒。

皇爷就得有皇爷的样子,好好地在宫里待着,而不能到处乱跑,更不能越俎代庖,干起了县令的活儿。

你都干了,朝廷还养我们做什么?

吃闲饭吗?

“你也别指桑骂槐,你要是烦我就早点说。你说,我除了制定一下大方向,军中真的需要我管理吗?”

“这个……需不需要的,您也不能丢了身份不是?”

种师道巴不得赵大锤别乱指挥,但您在这个地方不走,谁特么也不敢把您丢在这里不管不是?

“你懂个鸡毛啊,我这是建立自己的根据地,打下一地治理一地,争取一遍净!”

“皇爷,您也不要小觑了天下人。我大宋有许多才俊,文能提笔安天下,武能上马定乾坤。我看,小翁大人就挺不错的嘛!”

翁德馨羞愧地无地自容,急忙摆手,表示自己很错,真的很错。

连个小屁孩都收拾不了,还敢在这里瞎吹什么?

“翁兄,什么事情都有第一次。你这一次吃了亏不要紧,下次……”

“嗯嗯,吃一堑长一智嘛!”

“不是,我的意思是,下次你就心里没那么难受了。”

“呃……”

“开个小小的玩笑,学着点儿,看我是怎么当县令的。”

当县令难吗,一点都不难!

只要有个桌子,拿块砖头当惊堂木,再来几万士兵当三班衙役,一个草台班子不就成了嘛!

“您说什么,几万?”

韩仁杰实在是没想到,大宋皇爷的排场这么大。

你弄几万士兵当衙役?

整个易县,还不一定有你的“衙役”多,你这是要屠城吗?

“少废话,带人犯!”

“杀!”

几万士兵当衙役,只是个笑话,一时之间也调集不来这么多人。

但上百个杀气腾腾的老兵,组成的审判席,那也足够把人吓死。特别是,还很逗比地来了句“杀”,更是让人摸不清头脑。

那个石鼓差一点,呃不,不是差一点,而是真的已经吓尿了。

赵大锤眼一瞪:“瞎瘠薄喊什么,什么杀不杀的,要喊威武。跟着我喊一遍,威~武。嗯,很好,这样就好多了。”

急切之间,也找不到水火棍。

这些假冒的衙役,就用刀枪杵在地上,一声“威武”,杵碎地砖无数,端的是威武无比,瘆人无比。

虽然不“杀”了,可这架势,似乎也不像是要无罪释放的样子啊?

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