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第8章 《就此别过》(2 / 2)

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“班长,学习委员都不错的,你可以问他们”。

“不熟”。

“其实我们都差不多跟陌生人建立感情很困难,因为顾忌的多,而对熟人却可以不顾一切的扯皮打闹,不过总要找新朋友的”。

我的很轻松,实际建立朋友的过程是很折磨饶,一不心就永远做不成朋友了。

他倒在草地上睁着眼,我也倒下去,苍茫的日光下盲目的感受,耳畔响着风声和笑声,不像往常那样令人安逸,而是揪心,睁开眼猛然间聚焦视线,看不到曾经绚烂的云彩,不知道那里来的勇气,自信何来,随性了一句话“你不用太担心你的未来,如果将来我上了好大学一定会资助你的。”

刚出口的狂傲大话片刻便清醒过来,出口后的内疚迫使我迅速坐起来去解释,但他抢先了,“我不需要你的救助。”他也坐起来,低着头盘着腿有些颓废,我想去解释的话断在僵硬的空气里,断在彼此沉默中,张开的口不知如何发言,却也闭不上。我太自以为是,我承认那一句话有歧视的成分。

这章没有结束,请点击下一页继续阅读!抬起头,惨白的空中仍然空无一物。的确,一旦我做了决定,就会不顾一切的去追逐去得到,很大程度上忽略了被打击的人,有时候我很鄙视自己这种自我自私的性格和行为,而那一句随性的话,是对恶心骄傲的自信?还是对穷困底下饶讽刺?我很难澄清,或者这是离别前特有的敏福

而这一以提前的形式来的太突然,连我自己都没有准备好,所以也没来得及跟太多的人告别。岁月停留这片土地三年近半,留下数不清的痕迹,也都成了看不清的痕迹,刻意的无心的,带不走的感情,只能带走记忆。空万里无云,一如过往被决绝滔洗,阳光清亮不再苍茫浑浊,地面没有一片云影,只有相互告别的人影。

告别这个过程,在我心里它比地球的形成还要隆重,但也比落叶脱离树木还要草率,有些人应该要很长时间才能将其遗忘,我看着一张张熟悉的面容,他们站在学校大门口灼亮的水泥广场,举高了手向我摇晃着,我挥手道别,我看到我的影子越过了门槛,越离了风驰周折三年多的地域,那些往事,辉煌,怜悯,不甘...一步就跨过了。就在那一刻我能感觉到这个三流学校土地的广大,于是我必须要逃离,带着厌恶,也带着不舍,还有突然发觉的遗憾。连我这个人都离开了,曾经我是那么信誓旦旦的要在这里完成自己整个中学的学业。略微陌生的初一七年级,通顺欢畅的初二八年级,还有一个人孤独打穿的初三九年级,甚至一切还未在这里开始的期待...先前的话真的豪言成笑谈了,太多学生在这里辍学了,太多学生从这里转走了。

那个潮湿的开始将我们浸泡在雨雾中,还在军训时双腿站的肿胀,还在宿舍里洗头搞的像发洪水,还在考试的间隙大白窝在宿舍里睡觉,还排着漫长的队伍或挤撞在混乱的人群中,还在操场上踢足球玩贴烧饼,还在看学校举行的无聊演讲,还在饭桌子上讲讲地的大笑,还在草坪上晒太阳睡懒觉,还在女生宿舍楼下吹口哨,还在那一片荒草丛中看电影...

(本章完)

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