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感性读者致言并且讨论作品后续框架(1 / 1)

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感谢读者“致言”对我拙作的细心品读以及建议,现在特意将他的建议摘录如下:

第一,作者世界观铺垫的很大,世界观太大有时候并不是一件好事,世界观太大导致你很多地方无法细致入微的描写,导致草草收场,不尽人意,比较典型的就是白金作家骷髅精灵的《圣堂》,书写的不错,但是世界观铺的太大了,大千世界,中千世界等等那么多的世界,虽然看上去很不错,但是实际上很多地方都没有写到,比如小千世界写的非常详细,而中千却没有那么多的笔墨来进行渲染,大千世界更是一种敷衍的感觉,最初的那种感觉完全没有了,这应该就是世界观铺垫的太大而导致没有那么多精力与笔墨去进行接下来的描写。

第二,角色不够鲜活,我觉得角色刻画的非常好,但是却没有鲜活的感觉,没有真实的感觉,作者笔下的夏云清似乎就是神一般,但是“过度的神性比恶魔更可怕”,主角太完美了,完美的不真实,就像纸塑的神话人物,完美,但是没有真实感,你无法引起读者的共鸣,人都是有缺点的,主角太完美也并不是一件好事,在这种世界观框架中“鸟为食亡”很正常,但是主角完美的神性太不真实了,而且主角他的性格很奇怪,说的直白一点就是欠扁,动不动就相信别人,什么事情都喜欢逞强,典型的“大男子”主义,看着确实很不爽,真的,希望性格这边可以有一个转折,比如因为某些事情,当然可以网文的老套路,主角的至亲死了之类的,来觉醒主角更真实的人格。

笔者今天晚上好好想了想,的确深以为然,所以今天特意将后续章节的框架好好调整了一下,并且希望能够在不减少故事精彩程度的基础上,把角色写的更有活力,也期待着读者们给我更多的意见,让这本书变得更好。

真的,特别感谢能有你们这样一群读者,你们是我创作的最大动力。

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