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“没错。这哪儿有真的乐器啊!这战斗结束的庆功会上‘伴奏’都是生活中的能带响锅碗瓢盆,挑水的铁桶都行。”花半枝看着他嘿嘿一笑道。

“我算是明白了,真是群众的智慧是无限的。”林希言一脸温柔地看着她说道。

“对对!”花半枝忙不迭地点头道。

“你这剧本的开头与传统的相声开头不一样。”林希言看着她神色认真地说道,“我听的相声多,所以这传统的相声都是垫话儿的老路子、老套话开始的。”顿了一下又道,“你这个更有表演的性质在里面。用误会手法抖响开门儿的包袱儿,因而显得新颖别致又生动有趣、引人入胜。”

“有你说的那么好吗?”花半枝不好意思地说道。

“很惊艳。”林希言毫不吝啬地夸赞道,“这一般歌颂相声,不太好抖包袱儿,你的剧本倒是运用的合理又巧妙,风趣又幽默。”

“有你说的那么好吗?”花半枝更加的不好意思了。

“是真的好!”林希言重重地点头道,“你用了非常风趣儿的语言刻画了小小儿童团员的英雄形象……”接着继续说道,“鬼子对地雷的胆颤心惊等内容,写的既有浓郁的生活气息,又有与鬼子斗智斗勇的战斗乐趣儿,把残酷的战争题材用喜剧的手法表现出来,言辞之间始终洋溢着必胜的信念与革命乐观主义。让人会心一笑,有身临其境之感。”

“这本身就取材与生活,我们那儿可是抗日根据地,素材丰富的很。”花半枝笑着说道,“响应上面的号召:文艺为工农兵服务。”

周光明直接唱了出来,“八路好,八路强,八路军打仗为哪桩?八路军打仗为老乡,日本……”

“看样子光明很喜欢。”林希言看着他笑道。

“嗯嗯!”周光明重重地点头道。

“要的就是这个感觉。”花半枝惊喜地看着周光明道,“合理的运用象声词!增加喜剧的效果!”

“那你这剧本的台词有些地方得改改,该标注象声词的地方,标记下来。”林希言提醒她道。

“你来,你来。”花半枝立马说道。

林希言从胸兜里抽出钢笔,在原剧本上,他们商量着删删改改了一晚上。

林希言最后誊抄下来道,“你们看看效果如何?不行了我们再改,反正时间还充裕。”

“好!”花半枝笑着点点头道,目光在林希言与周光明之间来回转了转。

“你看着我们做什么?”林希言被她的目光给盯的发毛,莫名的感觉脖颈发冷。

“林希言同志,你可是说了只要我能给出建设性的提议,你就要上台表演的。”花半枝勾起唇角笑眯眯地看着他说道。

“呵呵……”林希言摇头失笑地看着她一脸宠溺地说道,“我演可以了吧!”犹豫了一下道,“可是这个是相声,我总不能说单口相声吧!”

“我……姨爹还有我呢?”周光明指指自己道。

“这个台词有些多,我怕你记不住。”林希言说出自己的顾虑道,“而且在礼堂上表演,你可不要怯场。”

“怯场?”周光明果断地摇头道,“不会的。”看着八仙桌上的剧本道,“至于这台词我背呗!”

花半枝轻轻的挠着下巴,目光在他们俩身上转来转去。

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