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第一百零二章 这是什么沙雕操作?!(2 / 2)

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我妈仰脸看着我,有些吃力地摇了摇头,她的声音很小,仿佛是从嗓子里挤出来的:“没事儿,没事儿,小病,睡一觉就好了。”

一边说着,她抬眼轻轻地嗔了张帆一眼,然后慢吞吞地看向我:“别听张帆瞎说,我没事。”

爸爸看了看妈妈,又看了看我,哽咽道:“对,对,没事儿,咱们家终于团聚了,这是好事儿,过年都没这么高兴过......”

“爸爸,姐好不容易回来一趟,你哭什么呀,”张帆似乎也高兴得紧,一张小脸红扑扑的,“更何况......”

一边说着,他望向江侃,轻笑出声,“更何况姐夫也在这里。”

张帆这个宝耍得不是很成功,但我爸妈都很给面子地笑了起来——仿佛他们只是想为自己的想笑找一个可以寄托的笑点。

本小章还未完,请点击下一页继续阅读后面精彩内容!妈妈笑得很吃力,吃力到还没等那抹笑在脸上舒展开来就先被咳嗽打断了。她咳得很厉害,脸憋得通红,皱成一团。好一会儿,才止住了咳嗽。

她似乎很是疲惫,坐在沙发上仰脸看向江侃,低声说道:“家里地方窄,能不能委屈你跟张帆挤一挤?”

江侃低头礼貌地笑了笑,忙道:“您客气了,我在哪里都睡得着。”

说罢,她很是欣慰地笑了笑,转头朝张扬轻轻挥了挥手,“扬扬,走吧,我们给你姐姐收拾收拾地方去。”

看着她蹒跚的样子,我下意识想拦住。江侃却伸手不动声色地拽住了我,给我使了个眼色,低声道:“让阿姨来吧,别拂了阿姨的心意。”

江侃做人一向比我玲珑通透,我望着不远处那抹背影不觉停住了脚步。

忽而,江侃颇有些不好意思地轻咳一声,小声问道:“你家洗手间在哪里?”

想了想,我仰脸特认真地说道:“走吧,带你见见世面去。”

闻言,江侃一脸狐疑地跟我走了出来。半分钟后,江侃捏着鼻子,一脸生无可恋相:“亲爱的,我确实没想到你要带我见的世面是......粪坑。”

农村的厕所设置得相当原生态,在地上挖一个大坑,再在四周砌上几面墙,一个厕所就修好了。便池直接连着粪坑,什么时候满了,家里的汉子会直接拿着铁锨、穿着胶皮鞋把粪坑里那些“有机物”掏出来,堆在厕所边上,在上面撒上一层厚厚的香灰——一来是为了降臭,二来是为了加速发酵。

等这些有机物发酵好了,家里的汉子便会开着三马子将它们运到地里,细细地摊开。

啧啧啧,多么天然原生态的肥料啊!

当下,我和江侃正站在那个臭得冒泡的粪坑前“深情对望”,江侃“深情”得有些傻了,期期艾艾道:“这......这是厕所?”

“知足吧小伙子,你是冬天来的,有种夏天过来试试,熏不死你。一到夏天哦,下面白花花的全是蛆......”

“打住!”江侃急赤白脸地冲我喊道,“我真是服了。”

“这对你来说可不就是‘世面’?江公子见过这架势吗?要不是我,谁会给你这个机会看一看人间疾苦不是?”

“我谢谢你!张钇锶。”江侃满脸嫌弃地盯着粪坑,转而又抬眼看了看厕所,随即认真问道:“你,你们这厕所怎么连个门都没有,万一我正上着厕所有人进来怎么办?”

想了想,我指了指江侃的口袋,轻声道:“你先拿出你的手机。”

江侃此时宛若砧板上的一条咸鱼,任我宰割。他狐疑地拿出手机作势要递给我,我高深莫测地摇了摇头,“不用给我,打开你的网易云放首歌就好了。”

兴许是担心江侃不能理解,我还特积极地解释了一句:“你上厕所的时候放点歌,别人就知道厕所里有人了。”

——自认为很明智的我。

江侃彻底崩溃了,将手机一把塞回兜里,生无可恋,仰脸叹息:“这是什么沙雕操作?!我只是想上个厕所而已啊。”

话是这么说的,然而我转身走了没几步,背后响起一阵气势磅礴的旋律:“无敌是多么,多么寂寞!无敌是多么……”

——呵,男人。口嫌体正直。

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