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第704章 痕迹(2 / 2)

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“当然有啊!我就想不明白,为什么你不早点告诉全家你是尚书府千金?早知道我祖母一听你竟是这么个身份,立刻就来看孩子了,那你倒是早些说啊,何必受了这么长时间的冷眼?”

听闻这话,顾相宜微微翻了个身,侧躺在池映寒腿上,道:“你觉得如果今日没有三叔三婶帮我作证,单凭我一张嘴,有人会信吗?”

“你可以找别人帮你作证啊,甚至你可以直接告诉他们,这次进京深造的机会是工部尚书提供的,或者告诉他们我爹生意上的事也是借了工部尚书的势力,你早些告诉他们,岂不是早就能震慑住他们了?”

顾相宜却是回道:“好像是这么个道理,但事却绝不能这么办。至少……我做不到。”

“为什么啊?”

“因为你不是我,理解不了那种感受。或许在旁人眼里,我一个不起眼的小人物突然捡了这么个贵重的身份,简直就是飞上枝头变凤凰了。其实不然,只有我在一个人照镜子的时候,会发现镜子中的自己,分明是另一个人。”

池映寒从不知道顾相宜竟会有这种感受,只听顾相宜静静的说着:“你知道那是一种怎样的感觉吗?就好像嗑了一种会上瘾的毒药一般,它会将你捧上天去,有一种飘飘然的感觉。用不了几日,你就会彻底沉浸其中,忘了你原来的身份,忘了你是谁,忘了你原本几斤几两。人若是飘起来是很可怕的,而且把握不好这个度,后果只有摔得惨不忍睹。”

池映寒:“……”

“我只知道,这个身份会在关键时刻保我一命,不到关键时刻,我不会拿着这个身份耀武扬威,作威作福。因为,这个身份不是我们凭努力自己争来的,而是因为王广的死而得来的。我曾发过誓,做他们的女儿是为了尽孝,而不是理所应当的享受本属于王广的身份和荣耀。如果我做了忘本的事,那么地下的死人如何安宁?”

就算全世界都无法理解这种心境,但顾相宜也需保持清醒,不忘自己的本心。

池映寒听闻这话,不禁感到心痛。

他能理解她的想法,可是她就这么迟迟走不出来,这道伤疤岂不是要在她心底留一辈子了?!

“相宜,我只希望你别给自己这么大的负担和压力,咱们好好给他们尽孝,尽我们所能,这就够了。”

“我知道,我也只是告诉你——我能感觉到,其实爹娘想要的未必是我这个人……”

“这又怎么讲?!”

“我不知道该怎么讲,但他们经常会提起王广,经常会提起他们会守护王广用命保下的那个小娘子……我之前一直在想,一个人若是对你的好肯定是有理由的,也隐隐知道他们还是一直忘不了王广。直到有了允安之后,我才知道那是一种怎样的本能——当父母的,最是不能接受孩子从他们的世界里消失,更是受不住孩子连一丝痕迹也没留下的消失。他们对我所有的好,都是将我视为他们儿子在人世留下的最后一丝痕迹。只要我还好好的,他们就能感觉自己的儿子仍好好的存在一样。所以,但凡我能自己争取,我就绝不会动本应属于王广的东西。”

听着顾相宜的这番话,池映寒心里有种说不出的难受。

“你是不是时不时都会想起王广啊……”

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