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第六十六章 三倍吊打(1 / 2)

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《画皮3》的故事也很简单,反着传统来!

什么叫传统?

就是女妖不管上天入海如何随心所欲,只要有人喊破“你丫是妖”,就必得杀人灭口,或是就地伏罪。

与此同时,男主角一定面色惨变,退避三舍,那表情就像你在家酒吧勾搭一妹子,然后上厕所碰巧看到了他的大杰宝…

《白娘子永镇雷峰塔》,白娘子都已经从了良想过太平日子,偏许仙一听是妖,倒头便走…

为什么要走?

你们这些老司机,看片片的时候,要求很高:水滴奈、蜜桃臀、水蛇腰,真给你一个水蛇,你又害怕!

所以,王生设置成有特殊癖好的男人!

他不仅不反感狐妖,还特别喜欢…

片中最经典的桥段应该是俞妃虹饰演的捉妖师和小徒弟那扎之间的对话:

“师傅,为什么我看小说,人神恋、人妖恋都不得善终?”

“古书上写的神仙和凡人的故事,其实都是光棍们的意淫,神仙怎么可能跟书生相爱?还生了娃?都不是一个系统的东西!”

“天道就代表着公平,天地不仁以万物为刍狗,真正的神仙不应该存在七情六欲,如果有,就说明他的修行不到位!如果神仙喜欢一个人就是说他会向一个人偏袒。他就没有资格继续当神仙!”

“神仙实力强大,责任重大,为了所谓爱情下凡,不是玩忽职守是什么?就算暂时没有严重后果,但若是没有相应惩罚,神仙们都无所顾忌跑去思凡了,谁来维持三界运行?如果神灵偏私某些人,不能大公无私履行职责,他配得上自己的权利地位吗?”

“那妖怪呢?”

“妖怪也一样…少看什么聊斋之类的,他们追不到好看的狐狸女子,只能靠意淫,动不动就在荒郊野外遇到好看的狐女死皮赖脸倒贴,他们还要坐怀不乱,一群死宅!”

“好吧,妖自带妖气,而常人难以抵挡,如果在一起,久而久之就会被妖气侵袭,终日病痛,萎靡不振,最终悲惨死去。”

嗯,本来是选的捉妖师是吴景,但一个男的追着陈昆她们三个,总觉得是因为妒忌,换了俞妃虹,就不一样了…

她给人一种禁欲的感觉。

至于王生的喊话:“我就是喜欢妖,我迷恋尘世,你们为什么要管我?你们这是嫉妒我嫉妒我!”

“我们不是嫉妒你,只是你的所作所为不被规则所接受!”

“什么屁的规则?小唯爱我,甘心做妾,佩蓉爱我,接纳了小唯,我们知道她是狐妖,那又怎样?这是我的自由!”

“执迷不悟!青丘狐族,成年后都要行走人间,取一男子真心,这是她们的成年试炼,你居然还觉得她是爱你?”

“师傅,不要管他了,什么也不懂,就知道喊着自由,自己怎么死的都不知道!”

后半段,小唯显出真实面目…

再也不是那个唯唯诺诺的小三,对佩蓉重拳出击,对王生也是百般索取…

一日七番,暮四朝三!

面容憔悴,形容枯槁,四目无神,走路来摇摇晃晃,坐下去颓然垮塌,脸上就写着纵欲过度…

王生快挂了,佩蓉找到正在收拾一条白蛇的捉妖师,下跪,并愿意将自家宅子赠送给俞妃虹,请她出手救救王生,被俞妃虹嘲讽,然后那扎偷偷摸摸接过任务…

当然啦,那扎没打过小唯,俞妃虹赶过来…

结尾,俞妃虹也没杀掉小唯,青丘狐族最后赶了过来,带走小唯。

狐族族长由傅艺伟扮演,她宣布小唯三次任务都失败了,不适合担任狐族下一任领导人。

顺便闪现了《画皮1》、《画皮2》的桥段。

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