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第六十六章 抓鸡(1 / 2)

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刘备仰躺在土丘之后,摸着自己的肚子,半死不拉活的**道:“哎呦~~哎呦,小伟啊,不行了,我快饿死了,你快去给我和曹阿瞒整条羊腿来吃吃,不然我俩非得提前去见阎王爷不可。”

曹操将头倚在刘备的肩膀上,同样有气无力伸出了自己的右手,指了指土丘身后的一片水草丰茂的草地道:“小伟,看见十二点钟方向那片羊群没有,你和蒙将军还有秦王赶紧摸过去,给我和大耳贼一人抱一只羊羔子回来,只要手脚麻利点,肯定不会被人发现,要是你们抓不着羊,那......”

“咯咯咯。”几声鸡叫忽然传入了众人的耳中。

听到鸡鸣,曹操蹭的坐了起来,一改之前的有气无力,浑浊的老眼中泛出了一道又一道精光,乃至于都能看到瞳孔中黄小伟的倒影,可想而知,曹操的眼睛现在究竟有多亮。

曹操搓了搓手,看着黄小伟深深的咽了一口唾沫,满脸的贼样道:“就算抓不着羊,你特么给我整只鸡也行啊。”

黄小伟:“......”

“妈的,你到底是曹操还是黄鼠狼啊,咋天天就知道抓鸡!”

黄小伟没有好气的白了曹操一眼,“想吃鸡自己抓去,跟我说什么,没看见人家牧民都站在旁边守着呢,手里又是弓箭又是弯刀的,我特么敢去吗!就算不提牧民,羊群边可还有不少的狗呢,别我们这边刚抓着一只鸡,还没等跑呢,就被狗咬住脚后跟了。”

秦始皇这时也插了一嘴道:“小伟刚才说的太客气了,也太高估我们了,还抓着鸡?白日做梦!寡人可知道,这些匈奴牧民的箭法都可准了,只要我们敢露头,肯定就会被人家射成筛子。”

秦始皇摸了摸自己饥肠辘辘的肚子,叹气道:“老曹,你们还是在忍忍吧,小军应该快到了。”

曹操重新躺回了刘备的身上,满脸的生无可恋。

刘备凝望苍天,揶揄道:“呵呵,等小军来......你说等他到的时候,究竟是来给我们送饭的可能性大一点?还是收尸的可能性大一点?”

黄小伟摆出了一副老学究的模样,清了清嗓子,右手抬了抬眼角本就没有的眼睛,也就是一团空气,装腔作势道:“这个,科学表明,人一般七天不吃饭才会饿死,我估摸着,小军七天后肯定就到了,咋们就耐心等着吧。”

“再者,不就是挨饿吗,不就是吃树皮吗?”黄小伟一摊手,“这叫事儿吗?这叫事儿吗?大家要拿出红军万里长征时的气魄,不怕艰难,不怕肌饿,安心的等待小军来拯救我们,正好,咋们这段日子天天大鱼大肉的,肚子里全是油,也可以顺便给你们刮刮油水,减减肥,何乐而不为呢。”

曹操盯着黄小伟看了很久,眼神里就差写着白痴两个字了。

曹操虚声道:“小伟啊,人三天不吃饭确实没事儿,可人要是三天不喝水,早特么渴死了吧。”

刘备接着补了一刀道:“恩,红军长征的时候好歹还能吃上树皮呢,可你看看咋们这儿附近......最近的草地离咋们都有二里地,咋的,你想让我们吃土是吧,我没听说过吃土能活七天的。”

黄小伟哑然无语,他倒是忘了,光不吃饭还不行,他们还得喝水啊,但......自己现在连这个土丘都不敢离开,上哪儿找水喝啊......再就是吃土......天呐,老子好歹也是身价上亿,怎么现在沦落到要去吃土了,这还有天理吗!

曹操给黄小伟科普了一下生活小常识后,慢腾腾的将目光放在了老老实实盘腿坐在他对面的蒙恬身上,看着蒙恬,曹操摆出了一副可怜兮兮的模样,道:“蒙将军,我是你的老师吗?”

蒙恬不假思索,当即郑重的朝曹操抱拳道:“老师授业传道之恩,蒙恬莫不敢忘。”

曹操老神在在的点了点头,“恩,很好,给为师抓只鸡去。”

刘备搭话道:“给我捎带手也来一只,要母的。”

蒙恬:“.......”

蒙大将军看了看土丘之后那个繁盛的匈奴部落,这里好像是匈奴的某个王庭,属于大大大后方,再加上现在前线正在打仗,所以匈奴人的主力基本都被抽调去了前线,可即便是这样,这里也还有超过两千的匈奴骑兵,外加上万的匈奴百姓,和数之不尽的牛羊牲口。

蒙大将军胆色过人,即便是千军万马,他也敢孤身一人走上一遭,可要是在千军万马中孤身一人走上一遭,仅仅是为了抓.....啊不对,是偷两只鸡,蒙大将军打死也不干,不讲别的,丢人啊。

蒙恬的一张脸都憋红了,最后吐出了三个字,“我不去。”

刘备问:“为啥?”

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