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第8章 标准智障(1 / 2)

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然而当翘儿端着米粥进来的时候,地道不地道就又不那么重要了。

一夜的静养过后让杨长帆力量充足了很多,他乐呵呵着撑起身体,左右四望习惯性寻找钟表未果后,只得问出了今后他将问无数次的问题:“几点了?”

“快午时了吧。”翘儿一面答,一面端着粥坐到床前。

这么个睡觉法,对硕士生杨长帆来说司空见惯,但在这时代实在有些说不过去,属于特别没有礼数,特别闲懒的一件事,不过在我们杨府,大家已经习惯了智障杨长帆毫无逻辑的作息,也便没人来说他。

虽没人说,却总要有人伺候,娘伺候了十六七年,半年前这活儿就摊倒媳妇身上了。

媳妇轻轻挖了一勺子白粥,贴在嘴边探了温度后,才小心翼翼喂向相公。

杨长帆倒有些尴尬,自己是一个正常的男人,这么伺候有些过头了,他直接拿过瓷碗:“我自己来就好了。”

“你打碎过不少了,若是又掉了,母亲会说的。”翘儿非常不放心地看着杨长帆。

杨长帆无奈摇了摇头,让大家接受正常的自己果然还需要时间,他三两口喝了粥后,便要穿衣,翘儿立刻把备好的衣物贡上来,当杨长帆看到这些衣物的时候,才发现,要做到生活自理真的有点麻烦。

都是寻常百姓的衣裤,再简单不过,可具体到如何穿衣系带,对于习惯了舒适方便衣物的现代人来说还是有些麻烦的,更麻烦的是那个该死的头巾,因为大家都是长发,不得不用头巾或者帽子维持头发的稳重,根据身份的不同,戴脑袋上的东西也大有讲究,杨长帆想把眼前的这个再简单不过的布头巾给裹上,还真要费一番功夫。

生活总是比想象的困难,杨长帆面对这一生的第一件事——自己的衣服自己穿,就已经是一个莫大的挑战了,如此企图生活自理而不能的窘境,让杨长帆露出了挫败与迷茫的表情。

还是翘儿好,对她来说,相公能知道什么叫挫败,这已经是个奇迹了,她也不说话,利利索索,前后不过一分钟的时间,就把相公从头到脚都包装好了,这令杨长帆叹为观止。

翘儿不忘笑嘻嘻地拿来铜镜给相公照,那表情好像在邀功一般。

“原来如此!”杨长帆赞叹一声,而后抬手,潇洒地扯下了脑袋上的头巾。

“啊……”翘儿一愣,这次有挫败感的是她了,她的表情中又换成了幽怨与冤屈——你竟然还嫌我包得不好看,呜呜呜呜。

却见杨长帆对着镜子,照着头巾包好的样子,摸索着智障前身有限的记忆,照猫画虎包了起来,只片刻间,又还原了头巾原先的样子,比了比,差不多,他这才问道:“这样对么?”

翘儿是真的惊讶了,我的天啊,他不仅能说全话了,竟然还有学习能力了!

“对?”杨长帆又问道。

“相公,你太厉害了……”翘儿捂着嘴要哭了。

杨长帆觉得很丢人,他上一次听到这种话,是四五岁刚学会系鞋带的时候,一个远方表亲冲自己竖起了大拇指。

“基本对了,就有一点,你听我讲……”翘儿逐渐平复情绪,跟杨长帆讲解起来。

讲完之后,杨长帆又包了一次。

完美,一个完美的农民头巾!

翘儿乐呵得要跳起来了:“相公,你太聪明了!”

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