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第一百三十三章 他不是我(1 / 2)

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翠翠站在一旁看着我们:“正经事不干,闹腾了半天一个不脱裤子,一个不脱上衣。少爷,翠翠在家养病的时候夫人让我代她问您,几时能当上祖母,她说她像您这般年纪的时候您已经在背《二十八星宿口诀》和《十神算命》了。”她说话间捡起我的裙子,“姑娘你知道为什么少爷今日没有撕你的衣裳。”

翠翠这样说时我也觉得奇怪,往日他一定先扯我衣服,今日怎得连扣子都没有解?翠翠接着说:“因为您就这一件好衣服了,其他的衣服都还没运过来。我今日整理衣柜,发现柜子里空荡荡的。估计少爷也怕今晚撕了,明日您只能光着学剑。”

“那些呢?我之前的那些,明明还有几件的。”

“药,弄脏了。”翠翠指了指房间一角绿油油的上衣,“都在那里,他不洗,也不让我洗。”

我看着那些衣裳出神,吴商将我困在怀里,他用下巴动了动我的额头,我转看他,四目相接,他忽然对我说:“叫一声相公,潘立刻到。”

我瞪他:“我叫了你敢答应吗?答应了能兑现吗?我不要留在这这儿,我要回家去,你跟得来吗?你跟来了养得起我吗?你这性格脾气,出了凛江能融入社会吗?”

吴商看着我,他在我这里眼睛总是会说话,或调皮,或蛮横,此时他又换上了“守株待兔”的目光,微微含着笑意。我翻个身不理他,他追过来说:“那不妨这样,你点点头。”

我闭着眼没好气地对他说:“不。”

他揽我入怀,熟练地解开我的扣子,在他这里,是也好,不也好,叫也好,不叫也好。结果都没有什么变化,他不会娶我,我也不会留下。最终的最终,我们还是会相隔两地,相忘于江湖。所以他从不真的对我做什么,即便赤裸相对,他也把持得住。

至于我……

我会动摇。有他在,我便越来越少地会想起谢询,不想不是因为不爱,而是白天大多数的注意力被转移到别的事上去,到了夜里,思念如潮,将我卷进无边的梦,梦里都是他,可他从不跟我说话,所以我知道那些都是梦,如果是他,一定会跟我说话。至于珠儿,无常走后我几乎没有机会想起珠儿,心里觉得似乎她也不能再伤我什么。

一切又恢复了往日的平静,大水已去,吴商那堵冻得人发抖的白墙在我们冷战的时候随着水位逐渐矮下去直至消失,闷热又一次席卷这座古寨,南方的冷和热对于我这个北方人来说都那样难熬。我求吴商捏诀在屋里弄一些冷气,他用眼光鄙视我,说那些白色的看着像墙一样的东西其实是鬼气凝结所成,所以他才不让众人没事出来瞎溜达,以免让亡灵勾了魂变成墙体的一部分。我问他凛江哪来这么多鬼气,他似乎也懒得跟我解释,只说了两个字:“存的。”

夜里我又隐隐约约听见山中有人唱歌,不过有吴商在身边,我睡得倒还踏实。后半夜,吴商被噩梦惊醒,他唤了声“丁灵”,把我也叫醒了。他最近时常这样,以往都会把手伸进我衣服里,今夜我率先出手,翻身把手搭在他身上。

吴商握住我的手,在我迷迷糊糊时把食指放进我掌心,我攥起他手指,沉沉睡去。

“小东西……”熟悉的气息中,他轻揽住我,周身寒凉,赶走了夏日的闷热,“我回来了……”

“无常……”

我转身时已被他横抱在怀中。耳边风声呼啸,他好像正穿梭于行云之间。

他回来了,在我以为我会忘记他、不再在乎他的时候,他如巴山夜雨悄悄降临在我梦中。依旧是如云的声音,如雪的衣裳,如画的模样……我看着眼前的他,十几天未见,恍如隔世。他依旧潇洒随意,风中沉香清冷孤寂的气息,一如他千百年空守娇妻,孑然一身的执着。他的柔美与刚毅最终沉淀于下巴与颈部的简单线条里,是我魂牵梦绕的模样。

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