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第八十九章 还请别踹我(1 / 2)

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“小麻烦。”黑暗中一声温柔的轻唤,无常绝美的容颜近在咫尺。他满眼宠溺,把吻落在我唇上。

思念如潮,我扑进他怀里,放肆地把脸埋在他胸前,蹭乱头发。询……我在心里念着他的名字,多久没见了,度秒如年,我再也不想醒过来。

他冰凉的手穿进我发丝:“怎么又把自己陷在这印里。”声音如絮,绵绵柔柔,“危险。”

“那日,你对鬼差们说‘布阵’,”我攥着他的衣裳,“是不是想着把人都支开,好等着莺莺杀了我。”

他怔住了,搂着我的那只手手指微动,继而收紧手臂。

虽然我心里无数次预想过答案,但没想到当自己要真正面临的时候竟如现在这般卑微。我知道他要说“是”,可我不知道自己竟还在期待他说“没有。”

心微冷,微疼。

良久,他才幽幽地说:“就那一次。”

就那一次……我心中嘲笑自己,我没想到他真的认了,就这么简简单单随随便便地认了,没有掩饰,没有拖延,就这样认了。我以为他会闪烁其词或顾左右而言他,至少觉得有愧于我,可他没有。我更加没想到,他没说“不”,也没说“是”,而是说“就那一次”……

我怨、也恨。打他。可他是神,他在我梦里,我又能怎样。只剩泪如泉涌:“你还想几次……还想杀我几次!”

他紧抱着我,将我埋在那冰冷的怀里:“丁灵……丁灵……”

我好像什么都知道,也好像什么都明白,可这世间有句话,叫做“难得糊涂”。偏这个时候,我想装糊涂,可心里却那样明白。

“往后你都不要来见我了。”我说,“魂不用你养,来世也不要寻我,且让我过得轻松一些,就当没认识过。”

“休想。”他声音如烟云,将我炮制在爱与痛的恩爱中。他不放手,连梦里也不放过我,只给了我从左肩到右肩的距离,不由分说。

“你走吧,我宁愿到紫微宫去做他的侍妾,也不要做你帅府续弦的夫人。”我想这是我能说出的最决绝的话语,只是说得无力。

我想坐起来,却始终推不开他。他什么也不说,只是静静地看着我。

“丁灵……”他叫着我的名字,“我的三三……”

我别过脸:“你走吧,话已至此,多说无益。”心痛如绞,我闭上眼调整呼吸。

他叹了口气,躺在我身边将我揽进怀里:“丁灵……”

我闭上眼不再理他,他的手抚在我额上,我只觉得困倦无边。四周满是清苦的药香,我在心里念着他的名字,在心里问他可懂我的悲伤……

我下了狠心,决定醒过来就和他一别两宽,可我醒不过来,我知道是他用了法术,我只能沉浸在这绝望的梦里。我想起濯池那一潭寒水,真想再跳一次忘川。

“你走。”我迷迷糊糊地说。

他额头贴在我脸侧,轻摇着头,在每一次我赶他走时收紧手臂。我质问自己,天下男人那么多,我为何偏要喜欢他。

“你走。”我攥着他一根手指往反向掰,想着他觉得疼了一定会松手。

“元神我都可以不要,丁灵……”他终于开了口,“三三……”

“我要醒过来。你再不走我咬舌自尽。我……”他用冰凉的手指按住了我的唇。抓着我肩将我转向他,又抬起我下巴迫使我不得不与他对视。

我不愿意与他四目相对,因为他太好看,看到就会原谅。我不想原谅他,所以我垂着眼看别处。

“我们总得有个了断。”我说,“你不能永远呆在我梦里,我也不能永远耽误你当神仙。你说吧,我怎么做才会醒过来。我照做就是。”

“看着我。”他握住我的手腕,“我便可以送你出去。”

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